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Also, to clarify, the weddings will be held in the same city. There are some family members that live out of town, so I can understand that would be burdensome if they were to make the trip twice, but I kind of feel like those are the breaks when you have such a huge family. I know that Bride A won't have hurt feelings if there are guests that cannot make it to her wedding, and she will be perfectly fine just seeing everyone who can't make it at the next wedding/reception.
It's tricky - if there was flexibility in venue, photographer or caterer choice, then setting a different date would have been easier on the rest of the family (or any other overlaps on the guest list). Even though there is a four week gap, if there is travel involved, that's still a lot of cost for the guests all at once.
That said, there are a lot of factors and you can't possibly take all of them into account. Setting a date can involve many moving parts. Ultimately, we make our choices and deal with the fallout. It may be that some family members will have to decide between the weddings. As many people have posted about, weddings come in waves and sometimes, there are a lot of them in a compact amount of time.
Thank you, Missm. And yes...Bride A and Groom A made the decision on the date after consulting with the priest, venues, other family members, etc. They are on a very limited budget so their options for what vendors they are using are much narrower, and I know that Bride A mentioned that one of the vendors (who was a great deal less expensive than others she'd consulted) was already booked up for pretty much every weekend that spring. There are so many factors that go into choosing such a thing, and I know she did consider the other wedding but it was not the only factor.
Any advice on how she should respond to the email? Personally, I am peeved on her behalf that they emailed her directly rather than discussing it among themselves and then, perhaps, approaching Bride A's mother (who is the sister of Groom B's father) and asking how to handle it if they were upset.
Will the family have to travel for the weddings or does everyone live near each other? If there is a lot of travel and overlap, I understand couple B being upset as it is unlikely people will go to both.....and couple A scheduling a wedding BEFORE couple B (by only a few weeks) *seems* inconsiderate.
that is not to say there are not good reasons to have it that weekend but I think couple B is justified in being upset. Your friend should just call them up and explain why they chose that date and that she feels bad for any issues it may bring up - and that she hopes they understand her reasons. She could also offer to encourage people to attend Couple B's nuptials if they can only choose one since they planned theirs first. There is not much more she can do.
Well, some guests live out of town. Two guests live only in flying distance (though I know Bride A wouldn't expect them to fly in for it anyway). A handful of others live between 1.5 and 3 hours away. The rest all live in the same town. The family is HUGE, so it was expected that some people wouldn't be able to attend Wedding A anyway. I can understand the concern, but I live out-of-town, too, and feel like it'd be a minor inconvenience for me to get to two weddings in the same month, but it's a predicament I've been in before as a guest, that I've dealt with my own way. Not to mention that the extended family always gives Bride A grief as to "when she's going to get married" b/c she's been living in sin with her future husband for 5 years. You'd think they'd want them to get married ASAP, LOL! 
bryan2.jpg (56.4 KB, 58 downloads) 2 years old 
I agree with the comments above.
A. There are so many factors that go into choosing a wedding date - a couple can't possibly make everyone happy and does their best to choose a date that best for them.
B. If a majority of the 'guest overlap' would be flying to either wedding - and/or incurring hotel costs - I can understand both couples concerns that guest will have to choose one wedding or another. Seriously though I think this would be the case no matter if the weddings are in the same month, the same season, or the same year.
C. The reality is that yes, especially with large families - weddings happen in the same year. I for one would not put my wedding off for a month, 6 months, or a year. Life is short. Yes this does mean some people will have to make a choice. Life is full of choices. People/Guests will make the decisions that are best for them and life will go on :)
How to handle the situation.... I would have Couple A call the parents of Couple B to address the email. Just have them say something like we realize the weddings will be in the same month, 4 weeks apart. It wasn't on purpose, the date we choose worked with our familes/requirements. We understand worst case scenario some guests would not be able to attend both weddings, but that is something we'll have to accept. We hope everyone can come to both and will do our best to make sure they know about both weddings and can plan appropriately. (this is a year out - those who care will be able to make arrangements)
I might also have the bride A talk to her cousin Groom b with the same conversation. Hey - we aren't trying to cause a family stir, we are so excited for your wedding. The date that worked the best for our families happens to be the beginning of that month. I'm sorry if you feel like we did something malicious or intentional - but we surely did not. blah blah. They def want to clear the air now so this doesn't continue to brew into something larger than it should be!!
If everyone is civil maybe the brides should exchange notes on colors or something so they can each have an individual wedding and not start accusing the other of copying :) Like make sure the bridesmaids are in different colors :) If Bride B has been engaged longer maybe she's made these decisions and Bride A can try to stay clear of the colors??
12x108_Embrodered_Runner_Chocolate.jpg (96.1 KB, 66 downloads) 2 years old
Good advice. And yes, I hadn't even considered the fact that the weddings are nearly a year away, and practically everyone will know months ahead of time so the overlap guest list can hopefully attend both (except for the ones flying). I know Bride A was planning on having her ceremony/reception in the afternoon, so out-of-town guests wouldn't have to spend $ on hotels unless they absolutely didn't want to drive after the reception. I will mention to Bride A this advice and to at least make sure the colors won't be the same. I am so low maintenance and don't get upset about such things, so I don't think that having the same colors would upset me (or her) but may be another thing for Couple B to get upset about.
To paraphrase Sex and the City, you get a day. Not a week. Certainly not a month.
I suggest that she respond to the email simply: "if you'd like to talk about this in person, let's set up a time". It's so much easier to be nasty when you don't have to look the person in the eye. Have her calmly ask them to explain their "concern" in detail and keep asking for clarification until all the petty ugliness of their action is plain to see. She doesn't need to explain or apologize. In the light of day, I'm sure even Mama and Papa B won't be able to believe their "concern" is acceptable.
It was more than a bit inappropriate for them to say, especially over email.
I'm getting married shortly after my cousin/MOH (she is my MOH as well) that's just the way the cookie crumbles when proposals happen to occur relatively close to each other. We have a lot more people that would have to travel so we both know that some might be able to only attend one of our weddings. No big deal. I know that if all of the relitaves on that side make it to hers and not mine I'll still have plenty of guests to celebrate with so I really don't care and neither does she. The only "concern" I've had from people who have to travel is they wished our weddings were CLOSER together so they could do it all in one shot.
I agree mith Miss banana, you get a day (okay maybe a few days so you have some help with preperation). Beyond that wedding planning is stressfull enough and you are never going to satisfy everyone. Jilian had some good advice but I just wanted to add to that. Bride A is just as much a bride as bride B regardless of who got engaged first. It would be very respectful for her to stear clear of whatever color/theme B is going for but if B happened to choose hot pink* and A has been dreaming of that ever since the early 90's as her color then I think she should go with it. She should be entitled to the wedding of her dreams as well.
*That was not an attack on hot pink. I am a fan of the color.
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I am the maid-of-honor for a wedding that will occur next spring. The bride and groom (Couple A) have chosen the first weekend of the month for their date. Another family member of the bride is getting married on the last weekend of the month. The parents of said family member (who got engaged first and set their date first, Couple B) recently emailed the bride in Couple A express "concern" that the weddings would be so close together (thinly-veiled contempt that she dared schedule her wedding in the same month, IMO). Personally, I think it was a bit inappropriate of them to do so, and now the bride is all upset and freaking out. She knew the weddings were the same month but figured since they would be 4 weeks apart, that it wouldn't be a big deal. Was the Couple A wrong in setting their date for the same month, as Couple B became engaged first and set their date first? The parents of Couple B expressed concern about other family members not being able to attend both, cost of gifts in such a short time frame, etc.