(Closed) Wedding expenditures making me anxious!

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re not alone.  Most days I’m fine with it.  But some days my chest tightens up just thinking about writing more checks. . .

Post # 4
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think its normal. I feel this way sometimes to thinking about other things that can be done with all that money.

Post # 5
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have a lot of anxiety about money and the wedding so I can totally relate. I have difficulty breathing when I really start thinking about it and it’s a source of some of my depressive episodes. 

I want to suggest something that my therapist suggested to me about the various things I’m anxious about.Create a mantra that really speaks to you and repeat it to yourself whenever you feel particularly anxious. I find this helps a lot. I don’t sit around and repeat it for hours outloud. I’ll say it once in my head and then think about it’s meaning for a little while. 

I find that with myself, mantras other people make up for me don’t help. But I can help you start. I’d say something like, “I want this wedding and to have this wedding the way I want it, I need to pay x for y”. Or “this is money I have available to me and I would prefer x over something more practical for life (downpaynent on house, rent, etc)”


I hope I helped. Hang in there, girl. 


Edit: my iPad corrected my second mantra into something that makes no sense so reread it if you didn’t get it at firsT. 

Post # 6
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can totally understand this but I really think you need to get it under control or it’s going to make you miserable. I agree with PPs about a mantra. You’ve already said this is what you want and deserve you just have to keep reminding yourself of this. And that it really will be fine. Try to make a concious effort to be okay with the spending but if you can’t you make want to consider seeing a counselor. Even if it’s just a couple times to work out ways to deal with this anxiety. Because you’ve got a lot more planning and paying to do and I don’t want to see you have a breakdown! So breath, remember why you’re doing it, get a hug from your fiance and try to let it go.

Post # 8
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I try to make big purchases as far apart as I can so it doesn’t affect me much.

Post # 9
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Walnut Beach Resort

You’re not alone, I have been VERY stressed lately about money and the wedding in general! I wasn’t sleeping and just a mess. Yesterday I decided not to do anything related to the wedding, not think about it, not make any decisions, I didn’t even come on here! It sorta worked and at least i had a good night sleep last night!

Post # 10
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I know what you’re talking about but you have to just let it go and try and enjoy your planning so you can enjoy your big day.  Look at it this way:  look at all the money I am SAVING by finding these great deals. 


Instead of me looking at it, like OMG I am about to drop $3000 bucks on a party for ONE day, I am seeing how frugal I am being by cuttign costs and finding budget fredly vendors and great deals/steals.  It is a one time thing, not something we do all the time so that makes it ok too.  I do love parties though and I love to plan parties and usually spend anywhere from $100-$600 on my kids partis: this is just an extension of that.  Try to enjoy it….



Post # 11
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I feel better after reading your post.  I thought I was the only one who is so caught up on how much everything costs.  I get anxiety about it all the time.  My dad likes to complain about money all the time and so I’m scared to spend it.  Like, I know I’m getting the wedding that I want and we have a lot of help but my dad gave me a budget, cut me a check, and I’m unemployed.  So I’m trying to stick to that budget so it won’t cost my fiance and I an arm and a leg.  The other day I about lost it when my fiance (he’s such a good generous guy) was like ‘oh no don’t bother’ when my bridesmaid asked if she was supposed to write the check out to me or him.  I said ‘you can write it out to me.  I put the dress on my card..’ the same time he was like no..don’t worry about it.  Currently feel like I’m like dying over here x_x cuz I can’t swing two additional dress costs.  We can’t offer to pay one and not expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to get pissed off if she finds out.  So now I’m like lost.  I already had to buy two 🙁 oh fiance…you need to hush lol

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