(Closed) Wedding fall-out drama rears its head again… (really long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh, that’s awful. I’m sorry.  You and your husband are the best ones to decide how to respond, but here’s my outside advice, knowing nothing but what you’ve written here:

If she’s extending any kind of olive branch, give her a chance – within limits. Don’t get your expectations up, don’t let her gossip to you about other family members, etc. But if she’s been good to you two and the kids in the past, it’s worth giving her the chance to do so again.

Post # 4
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow–let me start with a big old hugs. It sounds like SMIL is a drama-monger and I’m sorry that you are dealing with this.

If everything was okay before relationship wise, I might give her the benefit of the doubt and meet her to see what she has to say. If she’s been normal before, she might be wanting to apologize and redeem herself.

It sucks that your Darling Husband didn’t have a good relationship with his father growing up, but I think it’s great that you pushed him to start one for your stepson and that it is turning out well.

Post # 5
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I think it needs to be a new rule for weddings that a sign will be posted at the entrance to the venue stating “This wedding is about  X and X. Not about you. This wedding is neither in whole or in part intended to slight you.”

Post # 8
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@mightywombat: I have to agree with you on this

Post # 9
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think you should meet with her and see what she has to say. Most likely, as you said, she will not apologize and will expect you to. If it were me I would fake an apology to appease her and then just leave things alone. Stop feeding the “drama llama” as they say. Some things are just not worth the stress. Good luck in whatever happens and hopefully she’ll realize how awful she has been.

Post # 10
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bakerella: I so thought my Future Mother-In-Law was the only flasher around! And while I like to be the center of attention (wedding is called the Nicole show, bachelorette party is Nicoleapalooza) she takes it to a whole new level!

I’d definintly be skeptical, too, since it could go either way and she could either apologize or continue the hissy fit. Let us know how it goes!

Post # 11
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


I agree with mightywombat, if she is offering to meet up then you should give her a chance. Obviously if your husband thinks you shouldn’t go then don’t, it is his family in the end. 

Post # 12
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

First of all Kudos to you for handling yourself like a lady and not smacking her…like some of us ((cough cough)) would have done. i really feel like you have kinda done all that you can do and maybe you need to just let the sitaution go. Some people..esp older people are just stuck in thier ways. and misery loves company… Just stay focused on your goals as a married couple…and let sleeping dogs lie….

Post # 13
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

seems like Father-In-Law and your hubby are OK but shesh, SMIL is lovin’ her drama – does Father-In-Law know shes like that so hes just rolling his eyes? 

i would meet with her but i would be happier for it to be a group thing (family afternoon coffee with FI and FIL) to keep it neutral. i also would be very firm on the ground rules – if she starts her rubbish i would just say going over old ground isnt achieving anything and its time to move on, i would be prepared to walk away if she kept going – i would not friend her in life or online, keep the inlaw boundry very clear


Post # 14
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oh dear.  It sounds like you have handled the situation extremely well!!  I would have lost my shit while talking on the phone to that woman.  I think you should meet her for coffee and I agree with @eloping: keep your boundaries clear and if she starts in with the crazy, let her know that you want nothing to do with her.  And if she starts demanding an apology?  OMG…that would just be crazy.  She certainly sounds mentally ill.

Post # 15
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This is so sad. I wish family werent such horribly complicated things, but they are. It sounds like you and your hubby are handling the situation perfectly and unfortuantely just have to keep playing it out.

Past hurt is a difficult thing to overcome and its sad that SMIL doesn’t understand this.

I hope for your sakes she grows to realize this soon.

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