Post # 1
Feel like I’m going a bit mad lately, 3 months until my wedding and my Mum is driving me up the wall. She is being so bossy and controlling over the wedding. Totally treating me like a child. She keeps getting worried and stressed over things. I wanted a lock in down the road after the village hall and she was really sniffy about it saying the poor landlord and then when I picked her up on it later she said it was her idea!! Then she was Saying we don’t need the marquee anymore because it will be too stressful for other people to put up. I’ve picked her up on it twice and first time it ended up in a horrible argument, she totally denies the way she’s being and says its me who is stressed and not her. She denied what she said about the marquee and said it was me who should have let her know I still wanted it???!! It’s really messing with my head.
She keeps saying its not a party its a wedding and in the lead up was reluctant to let my cousin and sister come for christmas as she thought they would get drunk and it would reflect badly on me at the wedding which is in July? I said them getting drunk and showing them selves up at Christmas has nothing to do with me…?
Im so fed up and then at the same time feel like I’ve hurt her, she tells me shes been so low and run down when I have felt that too. Has anyone else on here expereinced similiar?, I want to be excited about my wedding again : ( and it really hurts me to go through this with my Mum in the lead up to whats suppose to be such a special day. She’s going round telling everyone else that I’m stressed! well I am now!
Post # 3
@Hermoine: Oh don’t worry; this is everyone’s family before the wedding! I know it’s supposed to be “the lead up to a special day”, and it is, but weddings bring out the worst in people and your mum seems to be acting like a typical parent. Mine was my dad – he was a pain in the butt: he insisted on inviting his violent, abusive father (thank goodness he couldn’t come), he insisted on playing music at my reception that I TOLD him I didn’t want (and told the DJ), he was drunk by the morning of the wedding before the actual ceremony (*sigh*), and said afterwards it was me being stressed and unreasonable!! Er, excuse me, I had vendors tell me how relaxed I was and how much they appreciated my lack of bridezilla-ness!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this: try to do your own thing with your FI, involve mum a little less, and you’ll get through it. The pre-wedding stage is VERY, VERY STRESSFUL but the day will be lovely, and all will fall into place, and even the things that go wrong on the day you won’t care later because you’ll have beautiful memories and pictures! And hey, my mum fought with her dad on her wedding day too, so I guess I followed her lead 🙂
Post # 4
@TinaJade: Thankyou so much for this reply, you’ve made me feel tonnes better, I’m goign to stop worrying now as it sounds like a normal occurrence, it really does bring out the worst in people! The horrible thing is I hate fighting with my Mum, its awful as we usually get on so well
Post # 5
@Hermoine: I am right there with you!! My mother has turned into this completely different person. It’s not just wedding details though; it’s in every aspect of her life. She’s super controlling now, and everything has to be her way. I do feel like I have to listen to her because she and my father are paying for quite a bit of the wedding cost, but sometimes I feel like enough is enough! I am lucky enough, however, to have an amazing MIL, who lets me vent to her anytime I need to! You did the right thing by venting. Keeping it inside will only make you angrier at your mother, and in the long run there coould be possible resentment, and you don’t want that!!
Post # 6
@oakislandbride61414: Yes mines the same, so diffecult to deal with, I hope it gets easier for you too, yes it is good to vent but then you do get left with feeling guilty afterwards but maybe better than feeling resentful, I don’t know
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2013 - Cornucopia St. Charles
We are three months before the wedding and i too have hada few tiffs with my mother over what i think is ridiculous crap, but apparently very important to her. even though we are paying for the entire wedding, she is my mom and so she can manipulate me a bit to get her way. But now, as if that wasnt enough, we have a new twist a difficult soon to be BIL. trying to bully his 10 person, 5kids 5 adutls to stay at our house for the wedding. i mean really how rude can you be. Bad thing is, my fiance didnt support me so now we are warring too. my wedding might nit happen all because his brother cant come uo with a couple of hundred bucks for a hotel room for some of his family that we simply cant absorb into the house. WTF????
Post # 8
@Hermoine: My mom and I feuded over a lot of the wedding aspects, and I finally learned that if I put my foot down and was confident about what I wanted without being mean, then that’s the way it was going to be. They are paying for most of the wedding, and I had the same nervousness about, “Well, they’re not going to pay for something they don’t like.” My mom wanted waiters and waitresses and NO BUFFET. We’re having a pig roast, and it’s a buffet. The wedding is now 4 days away, and she’s working with me, not against me (which I never could have predicted!). 3-4 months ago, dealing with her was hell. Now, things are much better.
@Star66: I just found out a week ago that 3 people are staying in my house Thursday night, haha. At least it’s 2 groomsmen and a girlfriend and not my FIL… if you don’t have the room, you don’t have it. Your FI should be backing you up on that, though!
Post # 9
@oakislandbride61414: I don’t know about that. Usually venting and ranting makes the person doing so even madder. I end up more and more bitter the more I talk about what I am unhappy with. Also, I have found it is not good to talk to other people about others as it can lead to even more tension!