Wedding Fund: A registry for your…wedding???

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@ScreenName:  I haven’t heard of it and I think it’s tacky. I would not let my BFF do this nor would I donate.

Post # 4
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@ScreenName:  Haha I would give them a gift card to a local restaurant, or a gift card to a cooking store (like Williams & Sonoma) or home improvement store. I don’t want to pay directly for someone else’s wedding!

Post # 5
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000


Sounds kind of like having a cover charge. For a wedding. I can’t imagine this really holding water with anyone. 

Post # 6
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Uhm, I might do the giftcard-to-a-specific-place thing, but more likely I’d just give them a card with a thoughtful note… I don’t care if my money goes to pay for/off your wedding, but don’t TELL me about it upfront!!!

Post # 7
5432 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

I think asking people to fund your wedding, whether through a registry or stag/doe party, is extremely tacky and I would never donate.

Post # 9
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@ScreenName:  Well, while on another (ruder) planet, I would love to be able to do that myself for the $$, I think it is very, very poor etiquette, and I would never consider such a thing! 

The honeymoon registries strain my Miss Manners boundaries, though those are tempting as well. They’re pretty common these days but I don’t like them.

I guess what my FI and I are thinking of doing is having a small normal registry, to help people who want to give things choose gifts that will be useful to us, rather than the alternative.  But we will also quietly, by word of mouth, share that we would most appreciate cash gifts, and hope to use those to help recoup some of the wedding expenses, as well as adding to what we’re planning to spend on our honeymoon. That in itself is not very good etiquette but I think it’s a lot better than an actual wedding-money registry! That’s rather like inviting people to a party with you as the host and at the end saying, “YOU all have to pay the bill!” Urk.




Post # 10
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

That’s a new one.  I know honeymoon funds are not liked by a lot of people, but at least those are a gift for something you can use after the wedding.  Asking for cash for the wedding is another thing.  Like what happens if enough people don’t give them cash?  If you really can’t afford the wedding you’d like you should adjust your plans, hoping that your guests will cover it is taking a pretty big risk. 

Post # 11
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Highfield House, Stanley, Tasmania

I asked this question recently. It is not an acceptable form of registry, from what I was told

Post # 12
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Nooo way is that ok! Gifts of money are wonderful for a bride and groom to put towards their wedding if they so choose but guests should not know.

Post # 14
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would send them the Miss Manners wedding etiquette book, LOL.  

Post # 15
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Yeesh. That is all.

Post # 16
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s really tacky to have a registry like that. I usually give money at weddings, but I don’t want to be told to give money or told what I should put my money towards. I’m a smartass, so I would probably go out and actually buy them dishes or some other home good just to be snarky. I don’t usually get in a big fuss over a honeymoon registry since I know that’s what the money will be used for anyway, but having a wedding fund registry is basically saying that you are throwing a party that you can’t even afford yourself, so you want guests to pay for it. It also makes me think they want the money sooner than the wedding to pay for everything up front.

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