"Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient"

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think is an appropriate monetary gift for the bride and groom?
    Just get them something off their registry and no cash : (73 votes)
    24 %
    Less than $100 : (57 votes)
    18 %
    $100 range : (123 votes)
    40 %
    $200 range : (43 votes)
    14 %
    $300 range : (8 votes)
    3 %
    $400 range : (2 votes)
    1 %
    $500 range : (1 votes)
    0 %
    $600 range : (0 votes)
    $700 range : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We had quiet a few people come to our wedding completely empty handed — no card or anything — and only a few couples gave us anything close to $100, so we would have been thrilled to get $100.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1771 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Wow. Just wow!

    Post # 5
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’d be happy with nothing, although gifts are appreciated. I can’t imagine anyone but a family member giving me more than $25….

    Post # 6
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    That article infuriates me. It’s disgusting that anyone raised their daughter in a way to think it’s acceptable to write a note like that, let alone be upset at ALL about a monetary gift. I think we got maybe 3 or 4 gifts that were worth more than $100, and more than 1/3 of our guests didn’t bring anything. The average gift seemed to be $50 for a family of 4. REGARDLESS. It’s a GIFT, it’s a sweet thought, it’s not mandatory. EVER. Pay for the wedding you can afford, it’s not up to the guests to pay for your stupid party!

    Post # 7
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    That bride’s message was unbelievable, but it’s more disturbing that I have seen that trend developing. A lot of bride-to-bes think their guests are going to reimburse them for the cost of the wedding. Most people have heard the guideline to cover your plate, but it’s not a rule and certainly should not be an expectation! I think $100 is pretty average, and if a bride decides to host some extravaganza then they need to be prepared to foot the bill. A gift is a gift, and the thought and effort should be appreciated no matter how small.

    Grr LOL

    Post # 8
    Member
    2630 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I didn’t vote in the poll. My answer is something along the lines of, “Whatever is found to be appropriate for/by the gift giver.” Only the gift givers can know their financial situation, emotional tie to the couple, etc, so I don’t want to set some arbitrary line.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2630 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Oh and about the bridezilla in the article…what a huge bitch. Seriously, people are losing their minds these days when it comes to weddings. The TLC and Bravo shows out there aren’t exactly helping matters either.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1896 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    That was disgusting. But it should be noted that the “appropriate” gift seems to vary by region. Doesn’t make expectations of a gift any more defendable, but is a variable in the results of this poll.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2429 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @HVbride:  I don’t really get the “cover your plate” thing.  I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where I actually knew how much my plate cost other than at my own.

    Post # 12
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think it depends wedding to wedding. Although I dont believe in “cover your plate” I do think, when it is possible given the givers budget, to give according to the formality of the wedding. Backyard affair? I’ll give $50 for both of us. Black tie? More like $250 or so.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1688 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    That’s ridiculous and disgusting. To some people $100 is a lot of money and you should never respond to someone like that for giving you a gift.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Holy crap, if it were a check, you’d bet your ass I’d put a stop payment on that

    Post # 15
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    @HisMoon:  < I completely agree with this. I basically told people I didn’t care what they did/ didn’t give us, I just wanted them there to help celebrate our wedding.

    I’d prefer people to have a good time rather think feel bad about not being able to afford a gift.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5445 posts
    Bee Keeper

    This is exactly why I find the whole cover your plate trend ridiculous–because classless idiots like her expect it and go so far as to complain that they weren’t gifted enough. I would slap that bitch if it was me who got the message. 

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