Post # 1
So my FI and I went wedding band browsing yesterday, just to get an idea of options and prices. We both liked different styles for different reasons i.e. “this looks better on it’s own whereas this compliments my e-ring” yadda yadda yadda. At three separate stores, the salespeople were like, “Well, you have to get each other a wedding gift…” as to imply get one for the wedding day and gift the other.
OK, OK, I know it’s their job to over sell me. But is this the norm?? I anticipated on getting him a gift, probably something no more than $100, like an engraved straight razor kit or something. NOT another ring or expensive piece of jewelery!! Like…the journal I’ve been keeping since our engagement + bacon roses lol. That’s what I was thinking.
Also, who’s responsible for the rings? Do I buy his and vice versa? I know we can do whatever we want at the end of the day, but I don’t consider his ring a gift if I buy it, and it’s also grossly unfair b/c the women’s one are twice the price. We were planning on paying for both out of our joint account!
So ladies, what “gift” did you get your husband/wife on your wedding day and who paid for who’s ring?
Post # 3
@BurlapnLace: we did NOT buy each other wedding gifts.
We bought each other cute little things for each other on our Honeymoon and that was enough.
I feel like giving gifts to each other is nice (if you can afford it) but it’s your wedding day…..why gifts have to be thrown on top of everything else that you’re giving each other that day is beyond me.
Post # 4
@BurlapnLace: The gift thing is getting blown out of proportion these days. We aren’t exchanging gifts- just love letters. And I think if you ask someone NOT in retail, most will say you don’t have to. A retail jewelry store is of course going to try and convince you that not only do you need a gift, but an extravagant one such as jewelry.
I saw someone post an etiquette list the other day that said the bride’s parents pay for his ring and groom’s parent pays for her. I chuckled at the idea. We’re grown ass adults consolidating our finances completely after the wedding— so WE paid for our own rings.
Post # 5
@Andthepupmakes3: Parents paid for their rings???? Is that a cultural thing?
My mom paid for a large chunk of the wedding but it would have felt really, really odd if she had paid for rings too. I feel like rings, if anything, should really be handeled by the couple.
Post # 6
@FleeSircus: I agree! And when I decided to get a band with diamonds all the way around, I can’t imagine calling his parents and asking “will you guys buy me this specific, pricier than you would pay, wedding band”?
I have heard, more frequently, that bride buys grooms and groom buys brides. THAT makes more sense to me… But I still think, for the couple combining finances, it really doesn’t matter who pays. Guess I’m just pragmatic.
Post # 7
My DH bought my e-ring and wedding band, and I purchased his wedding band. I gave him a beautiful watch as his wedding gift; he gave me earrings and a necklace.
Post # 8
We bought both our wedding bands from the joint account.
We got each other gifts, but because we wanted to, not because we had to. I got him a nice flask (less than $100) but he bought me diamond earrings (he makes lots more than me and likes giving jewelry).
Do what works for you 🙂
Post # 9
I always thought it was normal for the bride and groom to give each other wedding gifts, can be something small or large. Even just a letter for them to open before the ceremony can be special.
Post # 10
@BurlapnLace: My FI will be getting me a fun but substantial gift for our wedding day. I’m getting a Louis Vuitton travel tote (the Neverfull mon mono) and matching mono passport cover personalized with my new married initials. He asked me if these were things that I’d like to have and I was very touched by his thoughtfulness.
I’ll be giving him a wedding gift, which will be a watch and cuff links from my late grandfather. My family is very insular, and that truly signifies that everyone considers him a part of the clan.
We’re buying the rings ourselves (is there a another way?). We have joint finances, and have each picked out a ring. I’m getting two, and he’s getting one which costs 2.5x what my rings cost. Damn is huge long fingers! His ring requires a lot of gold!
Post # 11
Some people opt to do this. DH and I chose not to. We spent enough money on the wedding and our honeymoon, and didn’t buy additional gifts to each other for this.
Post # 12
We have each other gifts but they were under $100. We mainly did this because he wanted to buy one of my pieces of jewelry to wear for the wedding.
I think I paid for both rings. But I only paid because my credit card had just been paid off so it made more sense to put it on my card. We combined finances anyways so it seemed silly to get technical about who was paying. If we weren’t combining finances I probably would have offered to pay for both as he paid for my e-ring and both bands combined were significantly less than my e-ring.
Post # 13
FI paid for both of our wedding bands and I’m planning on giving him a nice golf club as a gift. I don’t think he will give me an extravagant gift and maybe no gift at all. Which is fine by me. I’m looking forward to surprising him with the club, especially since he bought both wedding bands.
Post # 14
@flowercrowns: Yeah there is another way lol, if they are included in the wedding budget then they are probably paid for by whoever gives the money for the wedding. Which in many cases is the parents. Our parents will be paying for our wedding but we hope to buy our wedding bands ourselves at least!
Post # 15
So it’s what I thought to begin with: do what you want haha.
We don’t have unlimited funds and are purchasing a house after the wedding, so the idea of lavish gifts hadn’t even crossed our minds! We were both taken back when the saleswomen suggested this. I guess they were just doing their job.
I suppose a lot of people in larger tax brackets do such things, but we are not there!!
Post # 16
@BurlapnLace: I bought some custom batman cufflinla engraved with our wedding date and “my superhero” for my fiancé to give him the day of, but I doubt if he’ll get me anything and that’s fine. I just got them because I really loved them and thought he would too.
We paid for eaxhbother’s rings but since his literally cost about 1/40 what mine did, and since we’re about to have combined finances, the whole exercise felt a bit silly to me.