(Closed) Wedding Gift’s – What is a reasonable amount to give?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Whatever you can afford.

Where is her registry? Often there are coupons for discounts so you could spend less than the retail price and save money.

IE you could get a $50 present, but only pay $35 for it.

 

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree anything you can afford. I usually give cash as a wedding present and I try to make it the amount I think the couple would have given me for my wedding honestly. Or if they attended my wedding, I give them the exact amount they gave me.

Post # 5
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

it really depends on what you can afford, and what is customary in your circle and the region where you live! If your friend knows your situation, then what’s really important to her is that you’re there!

i’ve alway tried to cover me and my guest’s plate cost at weddings, so if it’s $200 a plate, a $400-500 gift is in order. but again, maybe that’s a NY thing? I know things are different around the rest of the country.

Post # 7
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@moderndaisy: ooh, I like your logic.  I’m attending a wedding this weekend and am BAFFLED at how much to give.  I’m not close to them and didn’t invite them to my own…

I wish I could go back and gift the same amount people gave us!  Getting married older meant that I’ve gifted a lot of wedding gifts in my day.  I have to say – I was a little disappointed that pretty much everyone I’d gifted gifts between $100-250 gave us about a $50 gift (or less!).  And that was just wedding gift (not including gifts I’ve given for showers, baby showers, kid presents, etc!).

 

Post # 8
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re going to get a lot of variation on this topic… it’s such a regional/social circle thing… I kinda base it on the norm in my area, which is at least $100 a person… and we give cash.  The registries are usually only for the shower, but if her registry is for the wedding, then you can go that route, but maybe send the gift before the wedding so they aren’t lugging a bunch of presents home at the end of the night.

What is the norm for your area?  I always try to at least cover the plate and then a little extra.

Post # 9
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you buy in store and with your Bay card, most items will be at least 30% off the listed price. I love The Bay. 

Post # 10
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@europomme: I also live in an area that the norm is to cover your plate. So I tend to give more like $75-$100 per person, so $150-$200 for me and FI together.

But as you will quickly see, a lot of people disagree with this, so I think it is a regional/social circle thing.

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Heidigm221: HAHA… I was todl that too… to cover your plate.  I’m also a native NYer.  I’ve read other places that you give based on how close youa re to the couple.  If you’re an acquaintance (or like co-worker who you’re not too close with) like $100pp if you’re a family member or a clsoe friend like 125 or 150 pp.  That way you don’t have to spend more just because they spent more, but in general I think at least covering the majority of the cost plate is a good policy. 

Yet again, if you’re a REALLY poor college student and you can’t afford like a $100/plate then that’s fine. 

Post # 12
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am financially secure and would have felt really bad if my cash-strapped friends spent a bunch of money on us.  I really didn’t want our wedding to turn into a financial burden for our family/friends.  (We actually requested no presents.)

Young people just starting out might benefit more from the wedding gifts, but I still think it’s more for the older and more financially stable guests to help give them that material boost.  I think that people who have money should try to “cover their plate” if their plate was purchased at some degree of financial hardship by the couple.  Covering the cost of the plate meaningless if the couple’s family paid for it.  Give what you can afford to give…even if that’s your tank of gas and well wishes the day of.

Post # 13
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Whatever you can afford is fine. Personally, I was just happy to have the people invited there to celebrate with us! 

For me, back when I was single and still in school, I usually gave a $50 gift card. When DH and I first went to weddings together and I was still in school, we gave $150 cash. Now it’s dependent on how close we are to the couple and we also try to match what they gave us for our wedding (if it’s more than what we would normally give). 

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@oracle: That actually happened to us too. Some people really disappointed us. We had attended several of our friends weddings previously who either declined our wedding invitation (no gift and no excuse) OR they gave us like a small fraction of the amount we had gifted them. I don’t mean to sound bratty or ungrateful, but what irks me is that these people are in the same financial situation we are in, so it’s really just a choice to give us less.

Post # 15
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with the PPs on what you can afford.  I usually do between $30 and $50.  If they are somebody who is really close to me I tend to gift a little more. That usually comes from me getting an extra item that I think fits them personally to go with a gift fromt their registry.

Post # 16
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Make sure that if you’re choosing something off her registry but looking elsewhere that your include a gift receipt or something – if you don’t buy it from that particular store with the registry in hand, it won’t be removed from the list and chances are someone else will buy it for them too.

And yeah, I think a $50 gift or two $25 gifts is perfect for you and your date. The expectations definitely vary depending on how much the gift-giver can afford. Give whatever you consider to be a good amount/not super cheap-o but not out of your budget. I tend to give anywhere between $25-50 gifts depending on how well I know the couple, how much I have to spend on the wedding otherwise (travel expensesand such), etc.

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