(Closed) Wedding got pushed back..

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m so sorry, sweetie! How horribly frustrating. It sucks that you’re going through this.  
Is this a pattern for her? If so, I’m thinking that if you really don’t want to wait any more, you may need to considering paying for the wedding yourself. Are you in a position that you may be able to do that?

Post # 4
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It kind of sounds like you guys should figure out how to pay for this on your own. Depending on someone who has proven to be a bit flaky can cause some serious stress. You will probably have a better go of it if you and your FI can figure it out without depending on her.

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

So sorry.  Well at least by elpoing, yo are doing what you originally wanted to do.  I hope your mom is understandig, because she should have turned your Uncle down at least once, probably twice, if it was important to her.  She can’t expect you to keep holding off your wedding, for her, while she could have totally avoided this problem.

Post # 7
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry :(. But if you want to elope, I say do that! She’s just gonna keep pushing your wedding back if she keeps loaning money out to people.

& you can tell her that you origionally wanted to elope but were doing the ceremony because that’s what she wanted. but you can say you don’t want to put her back financially & you don’t want to postpone the wedding any longer. you can say its not about a fancy wedding, but about the marriage is what you’re wanting. if you both agree, maybe she can help pay for a recepton later in the summer & you can wear your wedding clothes?

Post # 9
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That sounds fun, I kinda wanna do that too :).

Is your mom supportive of you getting married? Does she like him? Maybe not ready to “let go”?

Post # 11
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmmm that’s tough. Wow I just wrote a crazy long paragraph then realized you said its HIS mom that thinks you’re rushing into it & not your mom! :). It does sound like your mom likes him & treats him like a son already. So that’s really good.

It may be your mom just wants to help everyone & wants to help out your uncle even thou rationally it doesn’t make sence. She was probly put on the spot & caved to the pressure. I don’t think she was trying to get you to postpone your wedding but it sucks at the position she put you in. I wouldn’t rely on her to pay for your wedding cause it looks like she already did this to you twice, & that’s gotta be tough. You don’t wanna resent your mom & that may happen if this keeps happening.

I would guess that his mom & him have issues since she kicked him out. That may be why she doesn’t think he’s ready. My bio mom kicked me out & it wasn’t anything I did, she was just kinda crazy… so I can kinda relate there.

I won’t really be on here again til tomorrow, but I hope you & your mom have a good talk & that ultimately you are happy :). My vote is you two elope, if that’s what you want, than do it. Ultimately, its what you & FI want & hopefully your mom understands that. Otherwise, things will always come up, whether that’s finances, or timing, or whatever life throws at ya.

Post # 12
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If she really wants you to do the whole church thing then she needs to come through with the money for it, if not then elope, give her a deadline

I mean, whats more important, your wedding or your uncle?

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