(Closed) Wedding guest dress etiquette….help?!?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldn’t, but I’m sure other bees would say you can. Basically, if there’s even a question, just avoid it.

It would be a different story if it was black with while dots.

Post # 4
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Jen6813:  

@phillybride61513:  I think if it has big black polka dots, that it’s okay, but if they’re smaller than a quarter, I wouldn’t do it because it would be too white-looking.  I wore a black & white dress to a wedding but it was very obviously not trying to steal the white attention from the bride.  I agree, if you’re doubting it, just wear a different dress.  It’s not worth the potential backlash from the bride or people thinking you’re rude for wearing a somewhat-white dress to a wedding!

Post # 5
Member
7870 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

what month is the wedding?

i own a summer dress that is just off-white with black polka dots.  my dress is very casual.  this particular dress, i could wear it to a very casual wedding in the summer.

if your dress is bright white with black polka dots, i wouldn’t.

can you show a picture?

Post # 6
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I wouldn’t see anything wrong with a guest wearing this at my wedding.

Post # 7
Member
11242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d have to see it, but it sounds fine.

Post # 8
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If someone wore that dress to my wedding I wouldn’t bat an eye. Full disclosure though, I’m defending my mother in law to people because she’s wearing a long very light pink gown and people were afraid she looked like she was wearing white. I think it looks pink and also I don’t care, because if you don’t know whose wedding you’re attending, you probably shouldn’t be there.

Post # 9
Member
1967 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It sounds fine but casual. Is the wedding casual?

Post # 10
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Depends on how big the polka dots are.  It’s not so much that anyone is going to mistake you for the bride but you don’t want to deal with getting the stink-eye from people who know that wearing white is a faux pas.  If it’s more than like 50% white I’d say no. 

Post # 11
Member
805 posts
Busy bee

It wouldn’t bother me if it were my wedding but some people are v sensitive to this so might be best to just avoid it anyway.

Post # 12
Member
8431 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Jen6813:  Can you post a pic of it?

I personally wouldn’t care if it were my wedding but I usually say that if you feel you have to ask then maybe just go with something else.

Post # 13
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Jen6813:  Of course you can. Summer is a time for dresses with white as part of the pattern. No reasonable person will accuse a woman in a cute black polka dot dress (plus red belt!) as looking like a bride.

Good god, common sense has flown out the window in some convoluted “etiquette” world. Measure the polka dots indeed.

 

Post # 14
Member
8514 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Even solid white or cream is supposedly fine these days according to Emily Post, as long as it doesn’t look bridal.  But a lot of people vehemently disagree with that, so I wouldn’t go there unless I knew the bride felt the same way.   Personally, I think your outfit is  fine.  

Post # 15
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee

@Jen6813:  I think brides get a little nuts with this. Your dress sounds totally fine, especially with the red belt. I think brides need to ask themselves “Is someone really going to mistake this person for the bride in that outfit?”. I think 99% of the time the answer is no, but people get cray about wearing white. When in doubt, I wouldn’t do it, but based on what you said, I think it sounds fine.

Post # 16
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FauxPas2012:  Yes, measure the polka dots… my point was not that it is my personal opinion that she couldn’t wear the dress, but because other people get crazy about it, and it’s not worth being rudely talked about for years to come for offending the bride or others at the wedding.  Is a dress really worth it?  No.  Should people be so uptight about it?  Absolutely not, but they are.  Be realistic.

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