Weddingbee boards

I saw this on the front page of MSN today so I had to click and read it. It's interesting, humorous and insightful.

Here's an excerpt:

<p class="articleabstract">You've been to a few weddings yourself, so you know there are just some things that can rub you the wrong way. Here are a few helpful reminders about what guests can't stand.

You may think your wedding is all about you and your groom (or maybe just you) but, hello, you're hosting a party! If your guests are miserable, your wedding will be remembered for all the wrong reasons. So we talked to dozens of frequent wedding guests — from always-a-bridesmaids to recent brides to guys in their 20s and 30s — to find out what they hated about the events they've attended. We've kept the guests' names secret just in case they're coming to your wedding!

For the entire article, go to this site:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articletkt.aspx?cp-documentid=20816186&GT1=32023

If a guest expects all of those things to happen, maybe he/she shouldn't get an invite.

Things like the time between the ceremony and reception some times are out of the bride and groom's hands.

I agree with most of it. Some of it is just "ok it happened, let's move on!" but I have experienced some of those situations mentioned in the past. I also don't think anyone really avoids weddings because of those reasons but hey, some of them are bad enough to cringe at.

ATLBelle, I wouldn't worry about your time gap, especially if most of your guests are Catholic. I'm not, but my FI family is, so nearly every wedding of his cousins' had the gap in the middle. And NO ONE cared - they totally expected it & even had plans in place for where people could go until the reception.

 I think that's the problem with lists like this, especially the tone. Yeah, they have a lot of good points, but it sounds like it's written specifically to shame people who have any of these aspects in their wedding. Mostly, it just makes guests sound whiney: "I don't want to come to your weekday wedding/wait for the reception to start/buy our own drinks/come without some random person you never met!"  Well, if those things are going to ruin your time at the wedding, reply with "No". Eeerg, it irritates me.

The whole "focus on the guests" thing is getting out of control. I totally understand how all the things on the list would bother people & that's it's very important to consider guests when planning your wedding. I've even been to weddings that have those so-called mistakes, but I've never thought "Wow, what a crappy wedding, I wish I hadn't gone - they were totally selfish!" I've always been more happy for the fact that those two people were getting married & wanted me there to be part of it. If someone comes to my wedding & is irritated that we chose to have more people we love there instead of paying for them to have drinks all night (we're having a partial-bar), then I probably won't be seeing much of them after the wedding.

My only gripe at weddings is when the food is yuck. Other than that--I've been invited without a plus one, I've been to some dry weddings, long ceremonies, I've had to work, etc. etc. And honestly even though I remember those things--that's not what I really remember about the weddings. It's usually the crying I do during the ceremony--the bride and groom speeches, it's all the sentimental stuff that comes up for me.

But, I'm also the kind of person that thinks a lot of things are just not that serious. I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar before--it's either been completely dry or only a champagne toast. The only thing about a cash bar is as long as guests know it's a cash bar beforehand. I do agree that it seems kind of weird to spend a ton of money on a venue, dress, etc. and then have a cash bar, though.

We have a lot of people working--and that's because my friends and family keep asking us for stuff to do, they want to help out so much. I don't let lists like these affect my wedding planning because I know my guests and what they really care about.

I agree with most everything, but I don't think some guests have the right to complain about WHEN the actual wedding is (as in a holiday weekend or not) because they can always decline the invitation if they'd rather have a vacation (and I don't think any bride with a head on her shoulders would be upset).

Honestly, I would rather attend a wedding on a holiday weekend because then I won't have to take more time off work (since I'll already have it off). But if I DID want to take a vacation instead, or already had something planned, I'd just not go, and wish the couple all the best! You can't get peeved about when the couple chooses to celebrate, only that they treat the guests right once they get there :) Most of the time, the couple knows people won't be able to come because of the holiday anyway. Maybe it's there way of pre-emptively cutting the guest list :)

Mitla, you said exactly what I was thinking.  I have been to too many weddings to count, and they came in all shapes & sizes.  Did I have a fantastic time at all of them, no.  Did I regret not taking the time to watch my friends/family start their marriage? Absolutely not.  While some of these points are well taken, and worth giving thought tom I felt like the people in this article were the type of guests I wouldn't want at the wedding! 

 I agree with Marigold. My family and best friends should care more about seeing Mr. S & I celebrage our marriage vs. getting drunk. I understand wanting to not pay but I am sure they will understand. As of right now we picked the location that fit in our budget but keeping it what we dreamed of (I had almost given up on finding it affordably). Our guest list was made by who is related to us and then filled with our very closest friends. I do happen to have a large family and hope that they can all make it. If they all do I will not be able to provide an open bar. I have to be realistic a four hour reception would cost $5000 more. That's equal to half of our budget.