Wedding has given FI an anxiety disorder!

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

His health should be number one priority right now, have they given him options for treating his illness?

Post # 5
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Well hopefully they will help 🙂 Then once he has it under control you can discuss the other things again.

Post # 6
Member
4901 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

He’s certainly under enough stress.  Give the meds & therapy time to work.  I have been diagnosed with severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder & it’s miserable.  The anxiety can lead to depression, which I also have–major clinical depression, severe.

Meds & therapy have done miracles for me.  Dh is very supportive, but he doesn’t quite get it, even though he goes to therapy with me.

If I tell him I feel especially anxious or jittery, Dh always asks me why.  He doesn’t do any good.  There is no why.  The anxiety is just free floating, I find it really unhelpful when he wants to pin down a logical reason for my anxious feelings so he can fix it.

It would be better if he could just show support me by acknowledging how uncomfortable I feel & asking me what I need.

Post # 7
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@sassy411:  I agree, except my FI knows not to ask ‘why’. He is just there for me 🙂 I have anxiety disorder, severe depression, and Bipolar disorder.

Post # 9
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t know if I ever told FI, but I had severe anxiety from when we talked about moving in together until about a few months after we got engaged. You always hear that men are the scared ones who say “don’t do it” to each other, but I knew another woman who got anxiety after the engagement. But eventually, it went away and I’m very happy that we are getting married.

He’s going through a lot. His mom getting sick is huge. I really hope she’s cured. Trying to jumpstart your career is very difficult, and I imagine doing so with someone else’s life at hand can’t be easy (I was single when I graduated).

My advice, although I’m not in the situation, would be to just put a hold on talking about the wedding. You have a little bit of time it seems so you’re fine. I’m not saying to postpone it, but maybe just put the pressure off especially with the holidays coming. Encourage his therapy and medicaiton, and yeah, don’t ask too many questions, unless he wants to talk about it. 

Post # 10
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@HonoraryNerd:  At the begining of June, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and experiencing a “Major Depressive Episode”.  I was almost hospitalized (they suggested it, i refused) and they wanted to put me off work for a while (again, I wasn’t interested and though some of the stress and anxiety was work related, I felt it would just make things worse for me).  

Medication helped me greatly (an antidepressant, and some mild sleeping medication), and I had a few appoinments with a mental health nurse.  I would suggest that you carry on with your wedding planning, but just keep it to yourself and don’t involve him until he’s feeling better.  In his state of mind, even small decisions can feel overwhelming and add to his stress.

With help, he should be feeling better in 4-8 weeks.  Try to take care of as much as you can (housework, paying bills, wedding things, etc) without involving him too much so that he can focus on getting better.

Here it is, the end of September, and I went from crying every day and wishing I could go to bed and never wake up, to planning a wedding in about 7 weeks that turned out fantastic, and feeling the best I have felt all year.  the support of my husband was key (he made zero demands on me, didn’t ask questions but was there to listen when I wanted to talk), as was seeking help.  It can and will get better for him, so please be patient.

Post # 11
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m in an extremely similar situation to your FI, I mean VERY similar. I have been have a lot of emotional breakdowns and anxiety too. So if that’s any reassurance, it’s apparrently normal for all of that to add up.

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