- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015
Ok, not just the wedding, but I’ll get back to that. The other day, I tell FI that Ive found the dress, I have it, it’s in my closet. I get a text from FI later on saying that he’s been having trouble breathing the past couple days and will be going to the hospital the following day. He’s on his family’s insurance still and they’re military, so he’s going to the one on post, so I can’t get on to go with him. He tells me he’ll keep me updated the entire time.
Shortly after the update saying he’s being seen, he says they think it’s anxiety related. When they ask that standard question “Are you under any stress, have there been any changes lately?”, he told them about getting engaged, graduating college, moving, not finding a job, his mom getting cancer, moving back in with his parents away from his closest friends, planning a wedding, still trying to find a job, and then he just started crying.
Now, FIs not the “Real men don’t cry” kinda guy, but he does tend to avoid doing so in front of other people. I’ve only seen him cry twice since we’ve met. I just felt awful for not realizing sooner and for making things worse. I know telling him about the dress made things very real for him about our getting married. And I’d been trying to talk to him about our plan as far as career and finances and our future go. He’s not blaming anything, but I still feel bad.
On top of that, he’d had an appointment scheduled yesterday to meet with a marine recruiter. He’s always wanted to serve and has been talking about enlisting or going OTS within the next year. He told them he’d been given an anxiety diagnosis and was immediately informed that he cannot enlist, in any branch of the military, for at least two years.
It just sucks and I want so badly to help him out and make it all better, but I know that I can’t. And selfish as it is, I also don’t know what to do about the wedding. He doesn’t need the extra stress, but I really don’t want to put off getting married even further, especially after this instance where I couldn’t be with him at the hospital. I don’t know what to do about any of it.
I firmly believe we aren’t given more than we can handle, but we’re all starting to feel a bit like Job as of late. I just wish we could catch a break for once.