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((HUGS)) no help... other than can you buy the tutus for the girls as a gift to them? i think it's a darling idea. and your cousin may be stressed or something? everyone knows that ALL GIRLS would love to play dressup in tutus!! well maybe not all girls, but i bet she'd have a friend that would love it lol!
here are some compromises...a little bit dress, a little bit tutu...
defintiely check www.tutugirl.com
offer to buy the tutu, if she still says no then forget it and just use your other cousin. shes trying ot throw her weight around to get her way, but its your wedding
I would just buy the tutu's and call it a day. People need to be careful when they make threats they don't intend to go through with.
Ok...breathe. I know it's difficult to try and please everyone and ultimately you won't because you just can't. People will always have their issues. If you can afford it, maybe you can offer to pay for the tutu. That way your aunt isn't wasting her money and your girls will be in tutus.
I was chiming in to say buy the tu-tu yourself.
Also, I sympathize. I don't know what it is about weddings, but I'm finding that a lot of people/guests think they can just throw their weight around. I went through it last week and I am sure it will crop up again.
That's terrible! Just remember that this is all on her... $20 is completely reasonable for a flower girl outfit, even if she *won't* ever wear it again. Which she probably would, if only for playing dress-up! Your aunt is being a crazy drama queen. Of course, it's not really *about* the $20 - it's about your aunt wanting to control your wedding. As a final peace-keeping gesture, I might call her and say that if she really has a problem with *buying* the tutu, you're happy to give it to cousin M as a gift. If the problem is that your flower girls are wearing tutus, though, cousin M is welcome to attend as a guest, wearing whatever your aunt likes.
I'm with Ashleyjane on this one, just offer to buy the tutu and if the aunt still says no, the you should just have the one flower girl. Don't let her push you around!
If you are crafty you might want want to consider making the tutus yourself. I have made several. They are cheap and easy to make.
If you don't want to make it maybe you can offer to buy the girl's tutus since they are only $20?
Hope this works out for you and the flower girls' mom.
If you're on a budget (which would make two $20 tutus even more to handle) you could DIY them and gift the tutus. I've seen alot of cute DIY ones that would save both of you money!
I would just buy the tutus for them and call it a day.
If it makes you feel any better, one of my BMs (my cousin) is refusing to pick any of the EIGHT dresses I gave the girls as choices to wear. She insists she doesn't like any of them and wants to wear something different. Ugh.
Thanks so much for the feedback! I've offered to buy the tu tu for cousin M but my MOH/her mom said that she would not feel right about me buying the tu tu. Sooo oh well. I will just have one flower girl and (like y'all said) call it a day!
Like other bees have said, I would just buy the tutus for them.
My flower girl's mother is also giving me a hard time about her dress, as if I was purposely trying to put her in something ugly or unflattering.
Why do people have to be so difficult? Its a totally adorable idea, but even if she didn't like it- put the dang kid in the $20 tutu for a couple of hours! Yeesh!
Why do people have to be so difficult?
I don't know, but man, it seems like everyone has a story and thinks they're a unique snowflake that needs extra special consideration/treatment/exception.
It sucks that your MOH is doing this to you about the tu-tu, @ Holly Golightly. I expect she'll gripe about her position as MOH next?
Hold your ground. It's tough, but do it. Best Hive advice I've gotten so far.
OMG what little girl wouldn't want a tutu?!? As for not getting use out of it, I know if that was me and I was little, I'd wear that around the house to play in all the time and love every second of it. Haha can you get your little cousin on your side, tell her about the tutu idea, and then have her annoy/whine her mother into submission? That's what I'd do. Underhanded? Maybe. Effective? Probably.
She doesn't want to buy a tutu because her daughter can't wear it again? Like her daughter would really wear a regular flower girl dress again??
She won't pay for it, and now she doesn't feel right about you paying for it either???? Good grief. You can't win for losing!! 
So sorry you have to deal with stuff like that.
I haven't gotten to the point in planning where all this stuff starts happening, but all of yall's stories are scaring the crap out of me! LOL I just don't know that I will be able to deal with people as well as much grace as some of you all!! haha
About your other problems:
1. Go with your mom to buy her dress. Tell the saleslady not to show her any with cleavage-enhancing necklines. As a final way to cover her up if she picks a cleavage enhancing dress, get some sort of pretty shrug for her "day of"... or take some pics and show her how she's busting out of her dress. You won't be the one looking ridiculous in your pictures, though, so don't worry too much.
2. Sign your sisters up for their appointments, tell them that the appointments are at _____ time, and that they can call and reschedule sometime THAT week to get fitted if that particular day/time doesn't work.
3. So sorry about the drama going on with your dad, too. :( I hope things get better!!!
Good luck girl!!!
My cousin plays dress up in her flower girl dress - she puts it on and pretends that she is a bride. I'm sure your niece would love to play dress up with a tutu after the wedding.
I'm sorry - it is really hard planning a wedding with a difficult family. No matter how terrible they have been to you your whole life, you still expect them on some level to pull together and behave on that day. It may not happen, and you have to just push foward knowing that you have done everything right, but can't control other people's actions.
Sorry!! That pretty much sucks. Seriously, your MOH won't even accept a $20 tutu as a gift? I don't know... it's not like I'm rich by any stretch of the imagination... but to me a $20 gift would really be no big deal, so why refuse it? It sounds like she is really being a huge pain about this tutu thing.
Really? The kids will never wear tutus again? Those girls will most likely wear those things for every Halloween until they grow out of them! Or, as professorbee pointed out -- they'll go into the dress-up box. Sheesh. I'd say if you're that set on them, buy them yourself and suck it up. Then cackle at the next three years worth of Halloween photos when the girls are re-using them because they love their tutus so much.
Why oh why do people have to be so difficult? I, for one, dressed up in tutu's all the time after inheriting them from a cousin. So much fun. Since the mom isn't going to let you gift it to her either, it seems like she's just out to make a point no matter what. If you caved and picked a flower girl dress out that wasn't what she forwarded you, chances are she'd not approve of that either. As one who has received nothing but grief from siblings since day five of being engaged, I feel your pain. I just can't promise it will get any better. HUGS!!!!!
I agree that you should consider buying the dresses, but it sounds like the issue is bigger than the money. I think this is a control issue - maybe her mom doesn't like the look of the tutus and is trying to make the final wardrobe decision, bypassing the bride. It was a real power move to say that her daughter was being 'pulled out' of her fg duties to which I would have responded more like "I'm very sorry you feel this way and I'm sad she won't be a fg at our wedding. If you change your mind, I would be happy to pay for her tutu and note that the other flower girl is still on board".
Its YOUR wedding, if you want tutus then buy the tutus! If she has a problem with it then she can just not have her flowergirl in your wedding. Its as simple as that.
Ugh...what a mess! I definitely wouldn't let her push you around. She's really trying to make sure her little girl is NOT in a tutu the day of your wedding, and that's just her preference. If she won't let you buy it, and she won't buy it herself, then one flower girl. Oh well!
I'm really sorry to hear the other family drama as well. I would agree with the poster who said to go with your mom and to make sure the sales woman doesn't give your mom any dresses with low cut necklines. Make it clear to your mom that this is a classy event, and her cleavage wasn't invited!
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Hi Hive,
I am having a family issue/bridal party issue and I could really use some advice/encouragement. It all began with a tu tu. After reading Miss Snow's blog and seeing the cute pictures of flower girls in tu tus, I immediately decided that this is what I would like my flowers girls to wear. So, I asked my little cousin M, and my fiance's niece S. My MOH (aka, my Aunt) is the mother of cousin M and since she knows everything about the wedding I thought she'd be excited. Well, I was wrong.
She does not want to "waste her money" on a $20 tu tu that cousin M will never wear again. Um, hello? She's wearing it in the wedding! It's not a waste. She then emailed me 5 flower girl dresses with hopes of changing my mind. When this didn't work she got ticked. When I told her I wanted the tu tus and that was that she said "Well, we're not doing that, so I guess you're not having flower girls anymore." I told her that we would still have my fiance's niece S in the wedding even though cousin M wasn't. At this point the crap hit the fan. She started crying and telling me how insulted she was that I would do that to her.
This is just crazy to me. I'm sorry that she doesn't like the tu tu idea, but this is my wedding and I would like my flower girls in tu tus. Period. A $20 tu tu. It's not like I want her to buy a $100 dress. Since this debacle things have been really tense between us. I am extremely stressed and feel like I am just drowning in wedding drama. I have been bending over backwards to accommodate my bridal party and guests and I am about to break. The bridezilla switch is about to get flipped!!!!!
In the midst of all of this, my mother is adamant on having a dress that shows her mucho cleavage, my sisters (other 2 bridesmaids) don't care about getting fitted for their dresses, and my dad is no longer invited. I am in wedding hell. Please help.