- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
So, it’s less than two months from my wedding and my soon to be sister-in-law and mother-in-law know more about what is happening in my own wedding than I do. We’ve been having meetings to go over what my fiance and I want for our wedding and I thought that I was making some decisions.
My wedding is November 16th and I found out that she has literally changed everything that I have chosen. Not only that when I mention something that I want she will give me 20 reasons why it can’t happen or “the color is too harsh with the skin tones, we aren’t going with green accents any more on the flowers so it will clash”. She has not only picked out my hair and make up, but she even gone so far as to get me a different dress for my bridal shower (after I had already picked one).
Meeting with vendors are made on a last minute basis during work hours, so I am unable to attend. On weekends when I’m available, I can’t get in touch with her. The main problem is my sister-in-law, but the two of them will get together and decide how things are going to be at my wedding.
When I couldn’t meet at a moment’s notice because we were doing wedding couseling, I was told “Well then my mom and I will just meet and pick the menu”. I feel like I am being punished because I don’t fit in to HER schedule (when she doesn’t even work), but because I have work obligations and take care of a two year old, I’m brushed off.
She is constantly demeaning to me, saying things like”well I’ve been working on this, and I’ve been working on that, and this, and this….all I’m asking you to do is this one small thing.
When I told my fiance how she talked to me on the phone and what she said, he was very concerned and said “no we are going to pick the entire menu”. He called her to get the menu options and she threw a fit saying that we were unappreciative, rude, and how could we act that way to her when she’s been putting in so many hours on this.
Last night I tried to meet with her, her mom, my fiance and myself to try and iron everything out and go over the details. I had to appoligize to her first (which I’m not sure I understand since we were only asking for menu options and that we wanted to pick the menu our selves).
When going over the details she talked about “We are doing this, we are going with that, etc” and I had never even seen the options before since they had all been changed. My ideas and choices were belittled and criticized.
I’m not sure what to do because I am dreading my own wedding, knowing full well that it will represent the wedding hijackers instead of my fiance and myself. Although it may be beautiful for someone else, it’s not “us”. It will make me sad.
I resent them for stealing my wedding from me and I don’t think it will ever be the same. I do not want to see my future sister-in-law unless I have to and even then it will be tough. I’m tired of her bullying, belittling, and demeaning me.
After the meeting I had a panic attack, threw up, and cried until 3 am. This was supposed to be my day, the only day in my life when I can say what I want and they have taken that from me. Why have they done this to me?
What should I do?