(Closed) Wedding in 2013 & Family Problems Already

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s your wedding so I’d say to do what you want. 

Post # 4
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsRoach13:  It’s your darn wedding. Your mom and sister are way out of line. If they’re paying, their wishes need to be considered and even perhaps included as a compromise. But they idea that they would choose those things without any input from you and your fiance is ridiculous. They need to know whose wedding it is, and if they can’t get that, then yes, you need to turn down the funding so you can make your own choices about the wedding that you want.

Post # 5
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s your wedding. I assume your mom has already had her wedding, and your sister has had or will have her own… This one is YOURS. You only get to have one (hopefully), so do as you please.

Post # 7
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

They may be pushing you because they think you’ll just stay quiet and let them get what they want. There’s nothing wrong with standing up to them and saying that you will be making the decisions on your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

yes, you need to discuss it with them :-/ luckily you have plenty of time to finalize any plans – I wouldn’t plan a DW if that’s not what you want, nor would I just smile and nod and do whatever your mom and sister decided, regardless of who’s paying… Sounds like you need to have a not-so-fun convo with them (not sure if it would be better for your FI to be there or not…) and place some boundaries.  I’m reading the book A Practical Wedding, and one of the things the author points out is how a lot of the family conflicts around weddings are due to you forming your new baby family vs separating slightly from both your birth families.  You need to be aware of the tensions, but also set boundaries that will set precendent for the rest of your marriage

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree that you need to discuss with them, probably just with Mom at first. If she is going to take total control because she is paying, you need to know that sooner rather than later, and see if that’s ok with you. If it’s not, you might consider paying for it all yourself and scaling it to what you can afford. It would be terrible if you had regrets after it’s all done.

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