(Closed) wedding in 5 months and she dropped out…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

if the only issue is money, can you afford to cover their costs for dresses/tux as your gift to them?

Post # 5
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

thing is, being a bridesmaid isnt just about the dress. Its bachelorette parties, bridal showers etc. So it can be a financial commitment. Also, even if its not purely financial, maybe if shes busy/stressed right now she just doesnt feel emotionally equipped to deal with it

Its stressful, and i do get the numbers thing. I have a preference for even numbers over odd (no idea why, i just do) but i wouldnt invite anyone else or kick someone else out at the stage. Anyone invited now would know theyre a second choice and if they arent that close…then its pointless

Go ahead with the couples you have. Ignoring the numbers issue, its disappointing when things like this happen. I would take a day to feel sad about it, then wake up tomorrow and start thinking positively – that youre goign to have an awesome wedding even without this couple =)

Post # 6
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First this blows and sucks really really bad.

That being said if you cannot afford to help her out, you just have to accept the situation and move on. I would advise against looking for ulterior motives, or nitpicking their finances.

  While you make think you do, your most likely don’t know all the inner workings of their fiances, perhaps they are debt, or living pay check to pay check so really couldn’t afford to save up for the wedding. In my experience it always cost  way more to be in the bridal party then to attended as a guest.

Look at the positives you know well in advance of the wedding, you still have other friends even though three people dropped out. Don’t let this ruin your experiences. Ask other people if you have too, and move on focus on the things you have control over.

 Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

“offering to pay” isnt going to help someone with real money problems as the way she shes it its debt. debt is baaaad news when you’re already pressed for money.

that aside I think you need to get over the numbers thing. in the grand scheme of things its not even an issue.

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsFullerToBe:  Ok clearly she has money mangement issues if she blew it all however it still isn’t any of your business. There no point in crying over spilt milk. Not only that but obessing and keeping tabs on what she spent money on will only drive you crazy.  Keep it perspective and move on and don’t worry about her money issues.

Post # 11
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

Really, the details aren’t your business. They can’t afford it, period. It’s not the end of the world but it’s a shame they can’t be more a part of your wedding.

Smile, pick another groomsman and move forward. It’s going to be just fine.

Post # 12
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsFullerToBe:  it’s unfortunate but at least she told you now than waiting a few more months.  it was probably a difficult decision for them and even more awkward having to admit this to you.

if you really want her to be apart of the day, perhaps she can read a poem at the wedding or say grace.  there won’t be any additional expenses for her that way.

work with what you have.  keep moving forward with your planning.  please don’t hold their decisions against them.

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Whatever you do, do not make this couple feel bad for dropping out. They were honest and open about needing to drop out, they gave you plenty of notice. Many other girls seem to prefer skirting around the issue and just neglecting to order their dresses by the order date.

Post # 16
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MrsFullerToBe:  I always believe there are other reasons other than money behind things like this, I would just decide for 1 guy to walk 2 ladies down and say stress less. 

You’re going to get married to the man of your dreams, 20 years from now uneven sides aren’t even going to matter. 🙂 

 

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