Post # 1
I’m new here so please hear with me as I learn how this site works.
I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and my wedding is already booked for March 2013. My fiance and I decided we weren’t interested in a long engagment. We just want to be married so with the help of (some overly excited) family and friends we begun planning straight away. I’m not expected to pay for anything personally, our parents want to pay for pretty much everything but I want to pay for some things. Problem is…. I don’t have a full time job.
See, I just finished uni 3 weeks ago (studying early childhood) and I only have a casual job as a teacher in a preschool with very irregular hours and really crappy pay. My fiance works in his family business and makes reasonably good money but I really want to start contributing to our wedding, like right now. I have applied for every job possible in my field and although it’s only been a week I’m starting to worry that I won’t get a job for a long time. We also want to buy a house soon after we’re married which I’ll need money for.
At the moment we live with my fiance’s parents who are incredibly supportive, have a lot of money and want to pay for everything. This would be great but I’m not the type of person to just let that happen. I want to contribute! We have a pretty low budget so our wedding is definitely going to be possible (even without me contributing) but I want to. I feel that as it’s my wedding it’s my duty. Plus, and this may sound kind of selfish, I feel like if other people are paying for it they will expect to be able to make the decisions and I want to do that myself. Yes, I need help as I have no idea what I’m doing but I want to make the major decisions along with my fiance and not have other people trying to take over (which I know will happen).
I guess I just need some advice to ease my mind and perhaps someone to assure me that a job will come along soon! Aaah this wedding thing is already so stressful!
Post # 3
Hang in there. Being a teacher myself I know how hard it is looking for a job. I was worried too, but actually landed an 8th grade teaching position just last week! Yay! Right on time, wedding is in April!
You’re lucky you have such a supportive FIL family!
Post # 4
We were in a similar situation. We pushed our date up because I had a lot of medical problems and we realized that saving up for me to finish school and start working was actually counterintuitive when we would be saving money by getting married and putting me on DH’s medical insurance. So we just had a very small wedding. We did pay for everything ourselves, but we had a lot of people help out with things (donated food, time, and little things). I found out that I felt a lot better about it when I at least had another option and was able to look at some of the things as wedding gifts (i.e. I had planned on hitting the flower market and DIY’ing flowers, but some family friends went in together and bought bouquets/bouts/corsages for us. Good luck with the job hunt, and just focus on keepings things small and what you can afford.
Post # 5
@cupcakesxoxo: hey, fellow kiwi :-). Good luck with the job hunt.
Post # 6
@cupcakesxoxo: My FI was out of a job for 7 months… RIGHT after he proposed! It was terrible, but you have to just stick with it. I’m a teacher, too, so congrats on picking an amazing field!!! 🙂 Maybe for now you can get a second job, something small? That way you can contribute a little bit more while you wait for your career to start?
Also, it is amazing that your fiance’s family wants to help, mine doesn’t!!!! I know what you mean about not wanting anyone to make decisions for you. I would keep yourself grounded, as you are, and continue on thinking “fabulous but lower budget.” You have time to find a job and you’re on the right track!
HeMadeMeWantTo: Congrats on the job!!! I taught 8th grade for 3 years!
Post # 7
Try looking through the career pages for advice/tips on job hunting! It’s a newish board.
Post # 8
Thank you so much for your replies ladies! I actually just landed a job yesterday in a fantastic little preschool 5 minutes from my house. It’s everything I could possibly ask for in a job. I’m so excited, and so RELIEVED!