Post # 1
Hello everyone – it’s been a while since my last post.
I’m happy to say that we finally have our venue booked (after having the rooms held, with no deposit, since October last year!)
I’m now in the process of designing and assembling the invitations that I decided to DIY with the help of cardsandpockets.com. I made a mock up that I was very pleased with and showed my mother-in-law – though she loved the invitation, she made a comment about the fact that I named my parents and myself before them and their son.
Instead of having the ceremony and reception on separate days, we’ll be having the ceremony, followed by cocktail hour and the reception and our parents have agreed to spilt all costs. Therefore, the ceremony and reception invitation are on one page
My mother-in-law suggested that the Bride’s name go first on the invites for the Bride’s guests, and then the Groom’s name first on the invites for the Groom’s guests. I’m open to this suggestion but I suppose I have it in my head that the Bride is being given away to the Groom, thus her name (and her families) should go first until after they are married – I don’t know if this etiquette applies to Indian weddings as well?
Post # 3
That’s ridiculous – you don’t need two sets of invites.
Rule of thumb is whoever is hosting is listed first usually the brides name is first because the bride’s parents have traditionally paid. If his parents are paying then perhaps they would go first as would his name.
If it’s some combination then I’d do one of the following:
Mr and Mrs Brides Parents
and Mr and Mrs Grooms Parents
invited you to share in the wedding of
Bride and Groom
Together with their parents
Bride & Groom
invite you to….etc.
Post # 4
I was thinking of using “together with their parents” but most of the guests either know my father-in-law or my father, but don’t really know my husband or I, so to avoid any confusion I’ve opted to include both sets of parent’s names.
Post # 5
We did (all fictitious names ):
Miss Jane Ann Smith
Mr. John Robert Jones
together with their parents
Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Susan Black
Mr. and Mrs. George and Sandra Keiler
Post # 6
We have actually just finished our invite wording. All etiquette books say brides name is listed first. The problem we ran into is that my FI parents are paying for most of the wedding, with my parents contributing some. At first we talked about doing it like this:
Mr & Mrs. Grooms parents
Mr & Mrs Brides parents
request the honor of your presences at the wedding of their children
But I think in the end we may have switched it and put my parents before his. Ultimately, I decided it doesn’t really matter. I personally have never analyzed a wedding invite to determine who was paying for it. However, etiquette dictates that your name (the bride) goes before his. And there is NO way you want to try to keep 2 sets of invites straight…that just sounds like a tone of work for you!
Post # 7
We are doing two sets of invitations. And it’s not even my parents name at the top! Traditionally, the “elders” hold the function, in my family that is my uncle. So it’s “uncle and aunt request the honor of your presence at the wedding of ME (daughter of so-and-so) to FIANCE (son of so-and-so)….”
So that could be an option. Just skip the top part and say your honor is requested at the wedding of YOU (daughter of so-and-so)…….
Post # 8
We had two separate sets of invitations (should be really easy for you to do since you’re DIY), one with bride’s parents first, one with groom’s parents first.
FI’s parents were telling me that in India, there are usually two sets of invitations (not sure if this is a regional or family thing), partially because there are some events of the wedding days that the bride and groom are separate. Even though that wasn’t the case for us, we decided it’s kind of nice for each guest to see the names of the people they know first.
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter. However, if your FMIL wants their names first, you might want to see if it’s doable.
Post # 9
runskiclimb, you are right…indian weddings have two sets of invites, one for the brides guests and one for the grooms since they both have separate pre-wedding functions. The brides invites will have her name first and the grooms invites will have his name first.