Post # 1
My FH and I are getting married in September and are ordering our invitations by the end of this week and have been trying to find the best way to mention his dad. I have read numerous threads and posts about invitation wording and proper etiquette and all of the other millions of things one has to consider. I understand that someone who has passed away cannot invite someone to a wedding, and I also understand that it can be viewed as a “downer” mentioning a deceased parent, but not mentioning him is not an option. It was still his father and he was a very special man.
Here is what I have so far:
Mr. & Mrs. My Parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
son of Mrs. His Mom, and Mr. His Dad, in blessed memory.
Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to tweak this or any wording they’ve come across that might work better (aside from using the word “late”)? We’re trying over here…
Thank you in advance!
Post # 3
@Lois_Lane: Same situation here. I’ve chosen to buck etiquette rules one this one too. I agree that not mentioning him is just not an option. Mine is the same as yours except we are using the “late” option. I think it sounds better. On our website we have a dedications page where we put in loving memory of…etc. We’ll also put a special portion for him in our program, perhaps with scripture. But I think using “late” is concise and doesn’t dwell on it. It’s not a downer, it’s correct and to the point.
Post # 4
@SouthRNComfort:Thank you so much! I’m sorry to hear you and your FH are having the same problem. It’s never easy. Here’s to wonderful marriages and remembering those amazing dads.
Post # 5
Same situation here…my FH’s father died when he was 5, but I do feel like his parents names should be on the invitation. I think that I too will use the “late” option, but just want to be sure I have it right before dropping all of that cash to get them printed…
Mr. and Mr. (my dad’s name)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
son of Mrs. of Ms.? FH’s mom and the late Mr. FH’s dad??
Thanks so much for your posts.
Post # 6
I just looked this up in my Crane’s Wedding Blue Book. (If you don’t know it, Crane’s is the Miss Manners of wedding stationary…but is notoriously stuffy so please take what I’m transcribing with a grain of salt – it’s not my opinion, just their suggestion!)
Crane’s states that it’s generally inappropriate to include the deceased’s name on the invitation (FWIW, they also think it’s inappropriate to include entree choices on a response card – not that I’m equating these things, just giving a little perspective) unless the couple is Hispanic, because this is part of the Hispanic tradition.
In a Hispanic invitation the invitation would look like this:
Mrs. Jane Doe
Mr. Jane Doe*
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
In place of where I put the * they use a small cross if the deceased is Christian, or a small Star of David if the deceased is Jewish.
Crane’s also says that the deceased is always mentioned in the newspaper announcement, in the wedding program, and a prayer may be said for them during the service.
Post # 7
Curious, is there a reason why you don’t you want to use “late”?
The way you wrote up “son of Mrs. His Mom, and Mr. His Dad, in blessed memory” almost sounds a bit awkward to me. Not that I have a better suggestion other than using “late”.