Post # 1
His parents are not contributing at all to the ceremony or reception costs. They are, however, hosting a small rehearsal dinner the day before. Are they mentioned on the invite? Must they be mentioned on the invite? If so, how?
Post # 3
You don’t have to mention them. They didn’t contribute to the wedding. If you send a rehearsal dinner invite you would mention them as the hosts on that invitation.
Post # 4
You don’t have to, but unless there is some issue in your relationship with them I think it’s a nice thing to do if the bride’s parents are going to be on the invite.
Post # 5
Agreed. There is no requirement to include them on the invitation. It’s YOUR wedding after all.
Post # 6
My inlaws are letting us use their credit card for any overages on the wedding, but we have to pay them back afterwards whenever we can. They are also giving us $2000 to help us pay for anything we need. I am not putting my parents or his parents only because it’s a little…hard to explain. My mother is buying my veil and my father is in a nursing home, so he cannot attend the wedding. It is just easier to NOT mention my father at all or parents just to stray away from the “why isn’t your father listed” question.
I say do what you want. Ask your FI what he wants or thinks is right. If he does not care then dont do it! It’s your wedding. Eventhough they aren’t contributing to the wedding however, they are contributing to something of the expense. Rehersal dinners can add up quickly and them helping to pay is really helping to take a chunk of wedding expense off of your shoulders.
Post # 7
@jackndiane: I am in the exact same boat as you and would love to hear more opinions!
Post # 8
Neither side are contributing anything to our wedding, but I’m considering “Together with their parents, Aure and Mr. Aure blah blah.” It’s neutral and still gives them a bit of recognition.
Post # 9
I think it’s nice to include both sets of parents on the invitation whether or not they’ve contributed to the wedding. We worded ours this way:
Jane and John MyName
request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter
son of Mary and Mark HisName.
That way his parents didn’t get left out entirely, but it was still clear that mine were the ones hosting the event.
Post # 10
@linguo42: I like the sound of this for mine, too. I don’t mind putting them on it, but I’d like it to be clear that they’re not contributing. One of the first things FMIL did after finding out we are engaged (and she was very excited about that, lots of screaming and jumping up and down lol) was to research the etiquette on what she was responsible to do. She came over and immediately started in with “a rehearsal dinner? I’ve never heard of that. You guys don’t have to do that!”
….haha. She likes me a lot, but his parents are notoriously cheap when it comes to their kids.
FI and I will be paying for about 2/3 and my parents have offered to pay the rest. I know my mom is quietly putting her paycheques into a “wedding account” right now and it will end up being closer to 1/2 although we’re protesting since they don’t have that much!
Sorry for rambling! Is it appropriate then, to list my parents names as the host, and his as just his parents? Is it snarky at all?
Post # 11
@Juliepants: No, it’s not snarky or inappropriate at all. The format linquo42 suggested is very proper.
Post # 12
@linguo42: This is what I was going to suggest. I usually see either this, or the “together with their parents” version.
Post # 13
My mom hasn’t contributed anything financial so far, his parents are paying for our photographer and rehearsal dinner. I didn’t want to start a fight with my mom by excluding her from the invitations so we just put
Miss Redhead &
Together with their parents
Invite you to celebrate…
(our names were at the top of the invite, in a large font)
Post # 14
My mom paid for the cost to rent the reception site and my dress and hub’s side paid for a small RD. We used “Together with their parents…”