(Closed) wedding invitation wording…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think the best way to recognize those who helped you pull off this wedding is privately, with a beautiful heartfelt note/gift of thanks.

Fiance and I were in a situation in which his side is paying for most of the wedding. We chose wording that makes it a bit ambiguous as to who is hosting:

The pleasure of your company is
requested at the marriage of
daughter of MOM and the late DAD
son of Future In-Laws

reception to follow

Post # 4
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hmm, I don’t believe that the invitation is the place to “thank” anyone.  It’s an invitation–not movie credits!  Yet, the wording of the invites do typically state who the host of the wedding is.  In your case, it may be your FMIL?  If so…be sure to use a traditional invite (but rather than the bride’s parents names, use in-laws).  Other wise, I wouyld opt to not specify one family over the other and just say “The parents of…”  or “together with their parents…”

Honestly, the time to thank everyone for contributing to your wedding is AT the wedding in a toast givine by you and your Fiance.  Thank you family friends for helping then–not now!

Post # 5
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I agree with the above…

Don’t put it on the INVITE…seems kind of tacky IMO.  Are you having wedding programs?  Possibly putting something on the back of the program stating, “Jane and John would like to thank all their friends and family for making their day extra special.  Jane and John would also like to give extra special thanks to Jane’s Parents (insert name) and John’s Parents, and Jane’s Uncle for their extra support and love.”

OR maybe you and your husband can give a little toast that includes and mentions both sets of parents and  your uncle w/o mentioning anything about monetary contributions.

Post # 6
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Whoever is hosting the actual reception should probably be the “invitor” on the invitations.  And whoever books the venue/caterer/flowers/cake/entertainment is really the host, in my opinion.  However, if the bill is being footed by others, then it’s your choice if you want to reword the invitations.

I agree with what is said above.  Professor’s wording is good because it avoids mentioning the “invitor” altogether.  I think you should not mention anyone in writing who contributed to the wedding; it’s inappropriate for them to expect you to recognize them in that fashion, in  my opinion.

VirginiaMarie and MrsJKH2be’s idea of mentioning them in the toast might be the best way to go.  Anything more formal than that is not necessary at all.

Post # 9
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That sounds way better.  Do your Future In-Laws understand that nothing on the invitation implies who is paying for what?  Traditionally, the bride’s parents host the event, meaning that it is in their hometown and they make most of the decisions, which is why they do the inviting.  Your wedding is more of a team effort by everyone, so I love Jane and John together with their families. Like you said, it’s not a competition.  A handwritten thank you note, perhaps with a gift, for both sets of parents and the uncle would be a perfect and private way to acknowledge their contributions. 

Post # 11
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Our invites are going to read something like

Jane Maiden and John Doe are getting married
Together with their parents, Daniel and Susan Maiden and Frank and Vivian Doe, they invite you to join them in celebrating

Our invites are very non traditional though, and look more like a lot of Save-The-Date Cards on the market than invites. We’re just not into flowers and weird scrolly things and pastels. 🙂

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