Post # 1
Ok so we get to use my future husband’s aunt’s barn for our reception. She said that she feel safe with no more than 100 people. Ok so I don’t know what to do about that number. For the actual ceremony should I only invite 100 people or is there a way to invite more than 100 people to the ceremony and only ask 100 of them to come to the reception in a nice way???? I ask this because my future husband and I could easily invite 100 people each but not everybody will fit in the barn. What should I do?? Help me out please….
Post # 3
@sarahroby: i think you should invite no more than the 100 guests.
Post # 4
@sarahroby: If I were a guest of yours, I would feel very displeased if I didn’t “make the cut” for the reception. Tiered wedding (which is what you’re describing) generally come across as rude. If you can only fit 100 people at the reception, you can only invite those 100 to the ceremony.
Post # 5
I believe 100 people means 100 people. I would think it’s rude to only be invited to one and not the other.
Post # 6
Don’t invite more than 100 people. There is no nice or appropriate way to invite people to the ceremony and exclude them from the reception if the two are on the same day/not eloping or family only.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I’d also advise measuring the barn, getting table sizes, and figuring out if it actually will hold 100 guests. Are you planning on having a DJ/dance floor/band? What are you doing for food- buffet or served dinner? If you and FI want 200 people at your wedding, maybe you should consider other venues. Or- can you have tents for seating, and have the barn as the dance floor, etc?
Post # 8
Create your “A” list of 100 guests, and mail those invitations, being very mindful of people’s social circles. Reserve a “B” list, again being mindful of people’s social circles, and, as the early “regrets” arrive from your initial guest list, immediately mail an equal number of invitations from your “B” list. Even Miss Manners herself, Judith Martin, allows for hosts to have a “B” list, as long as guests do not realize that they are on it. Closely monitor your numbers so that, at any given time, you do not ever have more than 100 possible guests.
Post # 9
@rebwana: You make an excellent point that I did not even consider when I replied to the OP. The owner of the barn may be comfortable with the idea of 100 guests, but the OP definitely needs to know if the barn actually will accommodate that number for the type of reception she plans to host.
Post # 10
@sarahroby: yeah there really isn’t a nice way to do this…even places where tiered receptions are common people still either get invited to the dinner or to the dance/drinks bit. So everyone gets hosted in some way. I wouldn’t go to a wedding where I was only invited to the ceremony and but half of the guests are invited to the reception as well. Would make people feel like they are seen as less important.