Post # 1
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always thought wedding invitations should come in the mail. I guess I’m okay with email, but I’m not quite used to that idea yet. Anyway, maybe I’m just getting old and traditional and am totally wrong.
We were at a get together over the weekend and one my husband’s friends handed me a wedding invitation. I thought it was weird, but I put it in my purse to look at later. I figured he wanted to save money on the stamp. No biggie.
He immediately started pressuring us to open it that minute and give him an answer about if we were coming. I said that I would look at our calendar when we got home and send him a response ASAP. He freaked out!
He kept saying that MrPanda99 was a close friend, how could we even think of not coming. Well, that’s not what we said at all. I just needed to confirm we didn’t have any prior commitments that took precedence. He made such a scene.
My husband dealt with it as I was so flabbergasted but seriously – do people do this? Just hand out wedding invitations at gatherings?
Post # 3
@MrsPanda99: Wow, how old is this guy? I think some people hand them to friends for whatever reason (save on postage, unsure of address, etc), but this guy just sounds pushy/immature.
Post # 4
@MrsPanda99: I’ve had wedding invites handed to me before and never really gave much of a thought, BUT if someone raised a stink in front of others for me not opening it right away or for having to check my calendar I would be really offended. That was truly uncalled for.
Post # 5
I handed out some wedding invites to my co-workers, but I didn’t act like that guy!
Post # 6
The way he did it was odd, demanding an immediate answer. As far as hand delivering an invite, eh, it’s less formal than I’m used to but I’ve had a few hand delivered and didn’t think much of it. The few I’ve gotten were from friends that I saw super regularly and were trying to save some bucks, which I totally understood.
Post # 7
@housebee: He’s 29! Honestly, I hate this guy, lol. He is always complaining that my husband doesn’t go out to bars with him anymore. We have shifted our priorities and this guy has not.
@megz06: It’s especially awkward because not everyone at the event was invited. MrPanda99 declined the invitation after he was being so annoying and I am SO GLAD.
Post # 8
I think wedding invites should be mailed no matter what. I just like snail mail since I never get any these days and it’s just more formal. Honestly how much can you save on stamps, it’s not that expensive.
Post # 9
@MrsPanda99: Ok THAT would bother me then. Usually I have had all my invited handed to me privately or at a place where everyone got them. Yeah, I’d feel pretty put off. Glad MrPanda99 declined!
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@MrsPanda99: Delivering an invitation in person is an old school polite thing to do. But how your friend handled it was completely wrong. You politely hand deliver the invitation and maybe add on a line about hoping the invitee can make the event. But that’s it. And never deliver an invitation to someone in front of other people whom are not also invited to the event.
Remember that hand delivery was all you had back in the day before standard mail delivery and even once mail delivery began it took weeks for the mail to run. Even today the uber rich pay people to hand delivery wedding invitations (although today that may be more about preventing the media from finding out the details.)
Post # 11
@MrsPanda99: I can’t see how there is anything “Traditional” or formal or the highest form of etiquette about sending invitations through the mail.
Back in the days of truly polite society, invitations were hand delivered. One’s footman took it to the guest’s house where the guest’s footman placed it on a silver tray and delivered to the lady of the house.
Any variation on the routine above is vulgar. haha.
The action of your friend, to pressure you for an affirmitive answer right away, is the problem. That is rude.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t have a problem with a hand delivered invitation. I would have a huge problem with someone who insisted I opened it that very minute and delivered an instant RSVP! The guy sounds desperately needy.
Post # 13
Etiquette Snob here… lol
The Mail / Post is the norm for sure. Altho I am certain there have been folks who have “dropped them off” in peoples mail boxes (lol or with their Valet / Footman in the good old days of the Victorian Era / Guilded Age)
BUT the key would be that it would be done with discretion, and no expectation of running into the Invitee to put them in an awkward situation… of feeling they need reply right there on the spot.
OR to be in a social situation where others might “hear / see” the Invite and be curious / jealous (excluding others or carrying on a secretive conversation is ALWAYS RUDE)
So ya the whole scenario would have been a No-No in my book
So the entire encounter that you had with this guy was properly handled from your perspective… and quite RUDELY so from his.
How uncomfortable that must have made you feel !!
Lol, I’d be tempted to get the guy a Book of Etiquette as a Wedding Present I’m afraid
(ok just kidding… sort of)
Post # 14
@MrsPanda99: There’s nothing wrong with a hand delivery, although the unprecidented freak out right after the hand off makes me wonder a little bit…you should probably make sure you go to this wedding, if this guy gets that worked up over a single RSVP, just imagine what he’ll do at the wedding! You can’t buy tickets to a show that good!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)
@alleycat1984: +1, I like them in the mail! 🙂
Post # 16
To @Nona99: ROTFLMAO… Nona99 hits another one out of the park !!