Wedding invitations delivered in person?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsPanda99:  Wow, how old is this guy?  I think some people hand them to friends for whatever reason (save on postage, unsure of address, etc), but this guy just sounds pushy/immature.

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsPanda99:  I’ve had wedding invites handed to me before and never really gave much of a thought, BUT if someone raised a stink in front of others for me not opening it right away or for having to check my calendar I would be really offended. That was truly uncalled for.

Post # 5
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I handed out some wedding invites to my co-workers, but I didn’t act like that guy!

Post # 6
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

The way he did it was odd, demanding an immediate answer. As far as hand delivering an invite, eh, it’s less formal than I’m used to but I’ve had a few hand delivered and didn’t think much of it. The few I’ve gotten were from friends that I saw super regularly and were trying to save some bucks, which I totally understood. 

Post # 8
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think wedding invites should be mailed no matter what. I just like snail mail since I never get any these days and it’s just more formal. Honestly how much can you save on stamps, it’s not that expensive.

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsPanda99:  Ok THAT would bother me then. Usually I have had all my invited handed to me privately or at a place where everyone got them. Yeah, I’d feel pretty put off. Glad MrPanda99 declined!

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@MrsPanda99:  Delivering an invitation in person is an old school polite thing to do.  But how your friend handled it was completely wrong.  You politely hand deliver the invitation and maybe add on a line about hoping the invitee can make the event.  But that’s it.  And never deliver an invitation to someone in front of other people whom are not also invited to the event.

Remember that hand delivery was all you had back in the day before standard mail delivery and even once mail delivery began it took weeks for the mail to run.  Even today the uber rich pay people to hand delivery wedding invitations (although today that may be more about preventing the media from finding out the details.)

Post # 11
Member
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@MrsPanda99:  I can’t see how there is anything “Traditional” or formal or the highest form of etiquette about sending invitations through the mail.

Back in the days of truly polite society, invitations were hand delivered. One’s footman took it to the guest’s house where the guest’s footman placed it on a silver tray and delivered to the lady of the house.

Any variation on the routine above is vulgar. haha.

The action of your friend, to pressure you for an affirmitive answer right away, is the problem. That is rude.

Post # 12
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t have a problem with a hand delivered invitation. I would have a huge problem with someone who insisted I opened it that very minute and delivered an instant RSVP! The guy sounds desperately needy.

Post # 13
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

The Mail / Post is the norm for sure.  Altho I am certain there have been folks who have “dropped them off” in peoples mail boxes (lol or with their Valet / Footman in the good old days of the Victorian Era / Guilded Age)

BUT the key would be that it would be done with discretion, and no expectation of running into the Invitee to put them in an awkward situation… of feeling they need reply right there on the spot.

OR to be in a social situation where others might “hear / see” the Invite and be curious / jealous (excluding others or carrying on a secretive conversation is ALWAYS RUDE)

So ya the whole scenario would have been a No-No in my book

So the entire encounter that you had with this guy was properly handled from your perspective… and quite RUDELY so from his.

How uncomfortable that must have made you feel !!

Lol, I’d be tempted to get the guy a Book of Etiquette as a Wedding Present I’m afraid

(ok just kidding… sort of)

 

Post # 14
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@MrsPanda99:  There’s nothing wrong with a hand delivery, although the unprecidented freak out right after the hand off makes me wonder a little bit…you should probably make sure you go to this wedding, if this guy gets that worked up over a single RSVP, just imagine what he’ll do at the wedding!  You can’t buy tickets to a show that good!

Post # 15
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

@alleycat1984:  +1, I like them in the mail! 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @Nona99: ROTFLMAO… Nona99 hits another one out of the park !!

 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors