WEDDING INVITATIONS & DIVORCED PARENTS

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee

We used “together with their families” in the interest of saving space and headaches.

Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee

Traditionally, it was the bride’s parents who were listed as hosting the event because they paid for the wedding. But if no parents are contributing, then you can just say “Together with their families (or parents).” If you wanted to honor them in some way beyond that, you can do what Filipino people (and lots of other people do too) do and include a list of everyone in your wedding party as an enclosure with the invitation.

Something like this, but add your parents (maybe not their spouses), yours and your FI’s names, etc.

Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

It no parents are contributing you can just list yourself and fiance as the host and not have any parents on the invite. Otherwise I would jsut go with the “together with their families” option.

Member
955 posts
Busy bee

I think we’re just doing

HisFirst HisLastName

           &
MyFirst MyLastName

Together With Their Families

Or maybe just the names. Who knows. Divorced parents are hard.  

Member
216 posts
Helper bee

Ours said “together with their parents”, and our parents are not divorced! You could ask your parents what they think

Member
563 posts
Busy bee

i would do together with their parents, we have same problem as you, and our parents aren’t paying for anything, it’s so hard when you have divorced parents to please them

Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee

Actually, the bride’s mother was traditionally listed as host — along with the mother’s husband if she had one — because traditionally she actually hosted the event. She paid — or some kind relative paid on her behalf — because she as hostess was the person who incurred the costs. If she couldn’t afford to pay, she was still the hostess; she just arranged a more modest event. The point being that the honour of hosting such an event is not for sale, and the private financial details of who pays for what is kept private by polite persons.

The other point being, that “hostess” is an actual role, with actual responsibilities, and the proper way to decide who is named as hostess on the invitation, is simply to name the person who actually IS the hostess.

Member
288 posts
Helper bee

I definitely did “together with their families”! Not only are my parents divorced but I’m still not even sure I’m inviting my dad to the wedding, and none of our parents are contributing financially so we definitely didn’t put their names on it. It worked out for us.

Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper

Just use together with their families. I’m doing this because it’s so much easier. My FI’s mom kept her maiden name, and my parents are divorced, but my mom hyphenated after the divorce and my dad is remarried. So it would look something like this:

Ms. Sheila Jones-Handal and Ron Handal with his wife Kate Zender

Invite you to take part in celebration of the marriage of their daughter

Caroheart Handal

to

Robert Bernard

Son of Larry Bernard and Melissa Pomfort

 

 

… see what I mean? 

Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee

We used “Together with their FAmilies” also because of the same reason. Both our parents are divorced. Mine recently (4 years ago) so not re-married but his have been divorced since he was 3 so they are both re-married. It’s VERy complicated. I had to list both his mom and step dad (Ie Mr. and Mrs GAry Bowman) and Dad and step mom ( Mr and Mrs Steve and Cindy Marcotte) on the rehearsal dinner invites though because that’s what they are payng for. My family and us paid for the wedding itself. I agree it Stinks!

Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

Jumping on board the “together with their families” bandwagon. We took our families out of it altogether and worded ours like this:

With joy in their hearts

bride + groom

invite you to celebrate with them on their wedding day

Member
441 posts
Helper bee

I do not normally like “togethor with their families” if either or both set of families are helping pay for the wedding.  Even if the invite starts looking crowded, come on, they deserve it.  However this case seems tailor made for “togethor with their families”

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