(Closed) wedding invites

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: is 10 months to early in this situation
    yes : (47 votes)
    94 %
    no : (3 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

    It is too early. Our wedding is in November and my FI asked if we could send out our invites in January. I told him it is rude to expect people to plan that far in advance. I sent out Save the Dates to people who would need to make travel plans etc. Perhaps that would be a better solution for you?

    Post # 4
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I agree with PP. If you are concerned about out-of-towners making travel arrangements then send save-the-dates (I also made a wedding website with all the info on it and put the website address on the save-the-date if that helps you)

    As for planning on how many people will attend, have enough food so that if everyone you invite shows up – they can all eat. There may be 10% or so that don’t show up but never invite someone and assume they will not come. I went to a wedding last year where they invited 200 people and assumed maybe 150 would come. Guess what happened? I think there were maybe 198 out of 200 there!

     

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Yep it’s too far out. And you won’t get what you want anyway. People won’t respond for several months, so it won’t help you. 

    Take into consideration how close they are to you guys, their distance, and the day. You can probably get a rough ballpark number if you consider the factors. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2335 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Oops, I’m the “no” vote because I clicked the wrong one.  That is absolutely too early.  Send a STD card to let people know its coming and then just use your best judgement to estimate a guest count.  For example, if you’re inviting distant relatives who live across the county and you haven’t seen them in years, its probably safe to guess they’ll decline the invitation.  Your guest count does not need to be verified until ~a month from the wedding to caterers, cake baker, rental companies, etc.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11273 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    way too early.  most of your guests will have forgotten by the summer. 

    this would be the time to send out std.  as far as saving for total number of guests, that’s going to depend on you.  what is your guest list tally at?

    Post # 8
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    If you’re sending them out early to truly get a head count and allow people to make plans, don’t do it.

    My #1 wedding pet-peeve at this point is the fact that during our long-ish engagement (15 months) people continually asked us for information about lodgings and travel. ALL THE TIME. We sent out save the dates in June 2012 for our March 2013 wedding. I recently called the hotel to check on our room block. Only 2 out of town guests had many any reservations. TWO GUESTS. Of the 50ish STDs we sent out, only 2 of them prompted people to make plans. The people that you absolutely know will be there already have the date penciled in (and you know who those people are). Those that are on the fence will wait six months to do anything.

    So sadly, sending out invites early won’t help you with a head count. Plus, people who plan this far out frequently change their minds or have something come up and end up not coming – we had family members that were in our “absolutely coming” category who recently let us know they were pregnant and can’t make it. It’s nice to let people know of your plans early, but it is not a good indicator of numbers this early on.

    Any other brides have this problem/agree with me?

    Post # 9
    Member
    551 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think you have your answer, but just think-who knows what they will be doing, whether they have a sitter, a project due at work, where they will be working, so much can change in a year??… even if you did get rsvp’s they would probably change a few times between now and then. I think the average is asking for rsvp’s about a month or so before the wedding, scary right? But yeah, you just have to assume, up until that time, that everyone you invite will show up and plan accordingly-btw, find ways to shorten the guest list if it’s an issue (think about omitting those you haven’t seen in a while, children, distant family and cousins, etc). 

    Post # 10
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @mandymacg7:  This is way to early.

    Simply start planning and saving for 100% acceptance of your guest list. Then when you are closer to the wedding, and get a better idea of headcount, the extra money is still there for last minute expenses or savings-score!

    Post # 11
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Definitely too early… Really you should be budgeting for all of your guests to attend. That way you dont risk over extending yourself trying to save for a guest list you cant afford. You should sit down with FI and make your list of must have people, like to have people, and if we can afford it people. Send save the dates to the must have people so they can budget appropriately and you could even follow up with them to see if they plan to come. Plan your budget around only this list coming, then send out invites a bit early and as the “No’s” come in you can send an invite to someone on the other two lists…..

    It would be a huge mess sending them out that early and then chasing people down as it comes closer to make sure they are really coming.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Definitely waaaay to early.  People don’t know their schedule 10 months in advance, not to mention things change all of the time and you would have people saying they could come now, but getting a no later and vice versa.  You won’t get an accurate head count.

    You need to plan for 100% attendance.

    Post # 13
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Invites only go out 6-8 weeks in advance.

    The topic ‘wedding invites’ is closed to new replies.

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