Post # 1
so I can’t believe I am even writing this, but I have become one of those women who was happily planning a wedding only to discover their loving partner was being unfaithful. I have cancelled the wedding and although this happened over last summer I am still struggling to deal with things and I only just feel ready to put this on here that it happened. I just needed some support and advice from other bees who may have gone through a similar thing. Basically I would love to hear tales of life after an ended engagement.
I still have my 2 beautiful dresses at my Mums place and my incredible engagement ring in the bottom of my underwear drawer. I am with someone else now and very happy with him, I have never felt more valued or respected in a relationship, but I still have so much resentment for my ex and what he did to me. Some days I can’t stop crying and other days ( like today) I get SO angry. I know we broke up for the best but I find myself upset at the prospect of everything I lost because of him. My other posts were all about ttc and wedding plans and it infuriates me that I was stripped of my happiness, I feel like weddings have been ruined for me, I keep telling myself that one day I will meet the right man and have that happiness and excitement of planning my wedding knowing I am with the right man, but right now I find that hard to belive.
I don’t hate my ex, in fact I even feel guilty for leaving him because I know he can’t cope with me leaving him, and although it is his fault I left I know I am the only person that cared for him and despite everything he needed me. I just feel sorry for him as his family life is such a mess and I know he is struggling to cope without my support but I guess that is the price you pay for cheating on your fiancee.
In regards to my new partner I feel so blessed to have met someone so wonderful, and at such a difficult time in my life. I feel guilty for still allowing myself to get upset over what happened with my ex, I guess I am just struggling to let go of my anger and hurt.
Sorry this has become a bit of a ramble, I just got so overwhelmed that I needed to vent somewhere. Anyway, thankyou for reading if you made it this far lol, and I await your responses, thanks 🙂
Post # 3
I know what it’s like to move on with another person but still have those feelings of hurt and anger towards an ex. Just know that time heals all wounds. As the days, weeks, months, and years drift by, you will feel affect a little less until you seriously don’t feel anything at all towards him or the situation.
It took me a few months (even after meeting my husband) to stop being angry at my immediate ex. It took me 4 years to get over a heart break with my ex from college and I moved on to dating other men. I compartmentalized the anger so I was careful not to carry my stuff into the next relationship.
You will get through this and you will see your partner, or your future husband as the best thing that has ever happened to you…not in comparison to any other man, but because he is who he is. Trust me. It will work out. Give it time.
Post # 4
@LunaFleurLavender: If your profile picture is you – you’re stunning and he was a complete idiot. I’m glad you’re with someone great now. Time will heal you and you’ll always be grateful you didn’t marry into that mess.
Post # 5
When my ex-husband cheated on me and left me my therapist told me the wisest thing- she told me that I was grieving the life I didn’t get to have- the one I had made up in my mind but that would not really ever happen because of his actions. It is hard to get over that- it took me years. I am remarried with a daughter and life does get better. But it does take some time- good luck!
Post # 6
@LunaFleurLavender: I cannot even begin to understand what you’re going through. I’m sorry this happened to you. It isgreat that you are with someone so much better. You are allowed to be angry and resentful. You’re human. In time it will heal, so in the meantime enjoy your time with your new partner. You’ll find out even more what it is like to be appreciated and loved. You will look back and be happy you didn’t marry him, because it would have only gotten worse. Things happen for a reason. You just need time.
Post # 7
my story is very similar to yours. i left my ex june 2 to be exact. walked out. had enough. needless to say the cops were called after he begged me to stay.. things got a bit rough, i called the cops. i grabbed my dog change of clothes walked out. moved in with my guy friend (only TEMP i told him – needed a place to lay low, collect my thoughts and figure out my next move – i moved from Toronto to be with my x). needless to say, i haven’t left my ‘friends’ place, we’re now engaged and i couldnt be happier. i was engaged to my x (i still have the dress not the ring) and lost my $2500 reception deposit but oh well. i get mad everytime the bank calls me as he put my credit in the hole and screwed me financially for years to come but OH WELL. know how i can get through this? cause i am soooo happy. i pinch myself sometimes to wake up. i think sometimes you have to go through UTTER HELL to get something fantastic and amazing in your life. you deserve it. you will be happier. there are days i get mad too and sadly i rant infront of my FI but he listens then hugs me then i am good. so dont despair – you will do it. you will be fine.