Weddingbee boards

I just need to vent. 

Our wedding is NEXT WEEK and our response date was June 3rd.  We invited everyone over the age of 18 with a date.  FI's youngest brother is 15 and FMIL just informed me that he is bringing a date.  He wasn't invited with a date due to his young age and we have finalized everything - our linens order, the number of place settings, the number of entrees, the guest list/ seating chart is already with the calligrapher and only now I find out that not only is he bringing an uninvited date, but he is doing in with one week until our wedding.

I am ready to pull my hair out.  If we had found out even a week ago, fine.  We added 4 extra seats in case of non responders showing up, but those people have finally RSVP'd and I am not going to push one of them out for some random 14 year old girl who none of us has ever even met to come. 

To make matters worse, she is going to be driving across the country with FMIL and FI's baby brother so now she is going to be stuck at the hotel all by herself ALL day.  I don't think a 14 year old who is traveling without her parents should do that.  I'm not her parents, but I told FMIL to please let them know that she will be alone all day to make sure that they are comfortable with that.  Aside from baby brother, there will be no one else under the age of 25 at the wedding, so it won't be as if we are having a babysitter for children.  I realize 14 isn't that young, but I wouldn't want my (if I had one) 14 year old daughter at a hotel ALL DAY by herself while she is traveling away from me. 

I have seriously just had it. 

That is REDONKULOUS. A 15 year old first of all really doesn't need a date! I totally see what you are coming from, that would irritate me especially when you guys are this close.

What is their deal?! Obviously they are acutley aware of everything already being settled, they are FI immediate family after all! I would have FI call and talk first to little bro, then to mom and say its not gonna happen, end of story. If they b and moan and in general cause more of a fuss then you want to deal with, then I would contact the caterer and let them know of the situation. I ditto that she should just be squeezed in where the bro is sitting.

How frustrating!

This is why is gets tricky - we are renting linens and fancier place settings through an outside vendor and not using what the reception location has.  Even though we have already included some extra places for random people that show up, we think that they will all actually be used by those we think are going to come.

I also don't really want a random 14 year old girl there either.  FI's baby brother is very well behaved and while I haven't met this girl, I have heard she isn't exactly the most mature to put it nicely, although I wouldn't expect her to be at 14.

The only person she will know is FI's baby brother and the table that he is sitting at is where all of the groomsmen will be sitting.

The biggest problem is that I'm just overcome by how rude and inconsiderate this is.  I didn't get any sort of warning and I also chose to not have children at our wedding.  Obviously FI's little brother is an exception, but typically, 15 year olds are not allowed to bring dates and this girl is even younger. 

In terms of her sitting alone at the hotel, I am referring to her being alone for the whole day during the wedding. We are having a full Catholic ceremony, which will last 90 minutes and then the reception will begin shortly thereafter.  Since FI's baby brother is in the wedding and his parents are in the wedding, there will not be any time to either drop her off after the wedding at the hotel or check on her.  I can't imagine that her parents would be comfortable with her being on the other side of the country alone at a hotel for 11 hours.

Aside from that is the additional expense.  We are at close to $200/ plate, which my parents are very generously paying for and I really don't want to go to them and tell them we are going to have some random 14 year old girl that no one has ever met. 

@oracle: Oh she told me via email.  Um yeah.  Awesome. 

@nona49: Yeah, I hear you.  That is how I feel if they end up bringing her.  If she shows up, there is really nothing I can do, but I just can't get over how inconsiderate it is.  I know FMIL means well, she really does, but a week before the wedding?!  She even knew that we weren't inviting children.  (Sigh)

@Soon2BeMrsCLW3:  I am letting FI take care of this.  We'll see what ends up happening since it sounds like this girl is still making the trip out here, but it has been really helpful for me to just be able to vent to you guys.  I am feeling better already.  I just don't want to have to deal with this stuff the week before the wedding.

@gabrielleelise1981: I wasn't even allowed to go to mall by myself at 14 let alone drive across the country with a boyfriend's (I also wasn't allowed to date then either) family.

@oracle: I didn't respond to the email.  I let FI handle it by calling her.  FI told her that the girl cannot come to the wedding.  We just don't have the room for her and we don't want to have to order an additional place setting from the linen's rental place.  It's just too much hassle.  He said that FMIL said that it's baby brother's fault for not finding out sooner if she could come (still, she wasn't ever invited, but I guess that point is moot), but I don't think a 15 year old who doesn't understand wedding planning should be responsible for this. 

I am really hoping that she just doesn't even come on the trip because I will feel really bad if she is stuck at the hotel all day and will probably have to figure something out to just let her come. 

We'll see.  This sucks. 

Sounds like a challenging FMIL, but you handled it well. Hugs!

Thanks ladies!  Well the random little girl drove across the country with FMIL and FI's little brother.  She is not coming to the reception.  The decision is final.  We have already spent so much money and given FI 2/3 of the guest list that adding on another is just not going to happen.  Especially because she is a little girl, I have never even met her and she WAS NOT invited!  We aren't having kids at our wedding other than FI's brother.  We also aren't paying an additional $200 for her meal and changing the linen and flower orders (each place setting has a matching rented napkin, charger, and a fresh rosebud).  No, no, no more.  While I am sharing with you ladies how I really feel, FI took care of this and told FMIL that it is too late.  He didn't get into specifics (although sometimes, I really want to since this is so inappropriate).

@ktisthatbees: They aren't even dating!  FMIL wanted to bring someone to entertain him on their week long driving trip! 

@PinkPinstripes: Thank you :)  We'll see how it goes!  If I get the guilt trip over this girl, I am going to go cookoo bonkers apeshit all over everything, but I hope that doesn't happen.