Post # 1
I just need to vent.
Our wedding is NEXT WEEK and our response date was June 3rd. We invited everyone over the age of 18 with a date. FI’s youngest brother is 15 and FMIL just informed me that he is bringing a date. He wasn’t invited with a date due to his young age and we have finalized everything – our linens order, the number of place settings, the number of entrees, the guest list/ seating chart is already with the calligrapher and only now I find out that not only is he bringing an uninvited date, but he is doing in with one week until our wedding.
I am ready to pull my hair out. If we had found out even a week ago, fine. We added 4 extra seats in case of non responders showing up, but those people have finally RSVP’d and I am not going to push one of them out for some random 14 year old girl who none of us has ever even met to come.
To make matters worse, she is going to be driving across the country with FMIL and FI’s baby brother so now she is going to be stuck at the hotel all by herself ALL day. I don’t think a 14 year old who is traveling without her parents should do that. I’m not her parents, but I told FMIL to please let them know that she will be alone all day to make sure that they are comfortable with that. Aside from baby brother, there will be no one else under the age of 25 at the wedding, so it won’t be as if we are having a babysitter for children. I realize 14 isn’t that young, but I wouldn’t want my (if I had one) 14 year old daughter at a hotel ALL DAY by herself while she is traveling away from me.
I have seriously just had it.
Post # 3
Sounds like an issue for the mother to deal with. If you told her there will be no seat (and being that it’s a week away, I can’t see how she would think you can magically make another seat and get another meal) and she chooses to bring the girl anyway.. that’s their own issues to deal with. Don’t worry about it, not your drama to deal with!
Post # 4
That is REDONKULOUS. A 15 year old first of all really doesn’t need a date! I totally see what you are coming from, that would irritate me especially when you guys are this close.
Post # 5
Are you doing round tables or banquet style? 8, 10 or 12 per table? Could you squeeze her in at the table? Noone will notice that she isn’t on the seating chart. Just tell FI’s youngest brother that she is to sit next to him. If plated meal, give her the same meal as him. My friend recently had this happen at her wedding (but she found out the day of the wedding), and squeezing in an 11th person at a 10 person round table worked out just fine. No one noticed, I promise.
Post # 6
Wow, thats nuts! why do people think things like that are OK. My parents would have NEVER let me go out of state without them unless it was with a school trip.
Edit- There is no reason for a 15 yo to need a date. He prob wont even be with her in a week.
Post # 7
Just to add. Caterers will always have an extra meal on hand that they can serve (just in case a guest sends it back, finds a hair in their plate, etc), and if your place settings are through your caterer, then they should have extra as well. You will still have to pay for her, but most caterers can handle this situation.
Post # 8
I don’t think it matters if the tables can fit her or the caterer can make an extra meal. She wasn’t invited, period. A 14 year old does NOT need a date, and I’ve never once heard of someone under 18 getting a +1, he would have received his own invitation instead of an & family one if that were the case!
Post # 9
I don’t understand why she will be by herself at a hotel all day. Why wouldn’t she be with FMIL and her son? Are you talking about during the wedding? I’m sure you can call to get one more place setting and squeeze it in to whatever table the boy is at. Don’t worry about the seating chart, just tell her ahead of time to sit next to the boy. Although this is annoying, I don’t think it’s worth getting too upset about. It might even be a good thing since the boy will now have a companion to keep him occupied.
Post # 10
Very inconsiderate of your FMIL. It’s not like he’ll even show the poor girl a good time. 15 year old boys are a bunch of pukes for the most part!
On the plus side, if you don’t want to make it an issue with her I bet your caterer can whip up an extra meal and a 14 year old girl should be able to squeeze in anywhere.
Post # 11
Wow! I’d be super pissed!
And I’m sketched out by the girl’s mom.
Post # 12
I’d have FI call FMIL and baby bro to say, sorry, we just can’t accomodate her, leave her at home! What in the world are they thinking?!
Post # 13
That’s INSANE. How did FMIL even come about to tell you? She HAS to know what a planning nightmare that would be!!! Did she think it would be ‘no big deal???’
Post # 14
Wow that’s horrifying. I hope they don’t bring her, how rude of them to both you and this girl.
Post # 15
What is their deal?! Obviously they are acutley aware of everything already being settled, they are FI immediate family after all! I would have FI call and talk first to little bro, then to mom and say its not gonna happen, end of story. If they b and moan and in general cause more of a fuss then you want to deal with, then I would contact the caterer and let them know of the situation. I ditto that she should just be squeezed in where the bro is sitting.
Post # 16
If you said you can’t accommodate her, why is she still driving across the country with your FI’s family??? Um… hello? Leave her at home.