(Closed) Wedding is in one week and you tell me you are bringing an uninvited guest? WTF!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sounds like an issue for the mother to deal with. If you told her there will be no seat (and being that it’s a week away, I can’t see how she would think you can magically make another seat and get another meal) and she chooses to bring the girl anyway.. that’s their own issues to deal with. Don’t worry about it, not your drama to deal with!

Post # 4
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That is REDONKULOUS. A 15 year old first of all really doesn’t need a date! I totally see what you are coming from, that would irritate me especially when you guys are this close.

Post # 5
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are you doing round tables or banquet style? 8, 10 or 12 per table? Could you squeeze her in at the table? Noone will notice that she isn’t on the seating chart. Just tell FI’s youngest brother that she is to sit next to him. If plated meal, give her the same meal as him. My friend recently had this happen at her wedding (but she found out the day of the wedding), and squeezing in an 11th person at a 10 person round table worked out just fine. No one noticed, I promise.

Post # 6
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow, thats nuts! why do people think things like that are OK. My parents would have NEVER let me go out of state without them unless it was with a school trip.

Edit- There is no reason for a 15 yo to need a date. He prob wont even be with her in a week.

Post # 7
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just to add. Caterers will always have an extra meal on hand that they can serve (just in case a guest sends it back, finds a hair in their plate, etc), and if your place settings are through your caterer, then they should have extra as well. You will still have to pay for her, but most caterers can handle this situation.

Post # 8
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think it matters if the tables can fit her or the caterer can make an extra meal. She wasn’t invited, period. A 14 year old does NOT need a date, and I’ve never once heard of someone under 18 getting a +1, he would have received his own invitation instead of an & family one if that were the case!

Post # 9
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I don’t understand why she will be by herself at a hotel all day.  Why wouldn’t she be with FMIL and her son? Are you talking about during the wedding?  I’m sure you can call to get one more place setting and squeeze it in to whatever table the boy is at.  Don’t worry about the seating chart, just tell her ahead of time to sit next to the boy. Although this is annoying, I don’t think it’s worth getting too upset about.  It might even be a good thing since the boy will now have a companion to keep him occupied. 

Post # 10
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Very inconsiderate of your FMIL. It’s not like he’ll even show the poor girl a good time. 15 year old boys are a bunch of pukes for the most part!

On the plus side, if you don’t want to make it an issue with her I bet your caterer can whip up an extra meal and a 14 year old girl should be able to squeeze in anywhere.

Post # 11
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Wow! I’d be super pissed!

And I’m sketched out by the girl’s mom.

Post # 12
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d have FI call FMIL and baby bro to say, sorry, we just can’t accomodate her, leave her at home! What in the world are they thinking?!

Post # 13
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That’s INSANE.  How did FMIL even come about to tell you?  She HAS to know what a planning nightmare that would be!!!   Did she think it would be ‘no big deal???’

Post # 14
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow that’s horrifying. I hope they don’t bring her, how rude of them to both you and this girl.

Post # 15
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

What is their deal?! Obviously they are acutley aware of everything already being settled, they are FI immediate family after all! I would have FI call and talk first to little bro, then to mom and say its not gonna happen, end of story. If they b and moan and in general cause more of a fuss then you want to deal with, then I would contact the caterer and let them know of the situation. I ditto that she should just be squeezed in where the bro is sitting.

How frustrating!

Post # 16
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

If you said you can’t accommodate her, why is she still driving across the country with your FI’s family??? Um… hello? Leave her at home.

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