Wedding is In two months, shouldn't I be excited?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
35 posts

Coastiewife:  sorry to hear 🙁 weddings are stressful. think you are right though, since your family/friends have been through this before.. its not new and they don’t have the same excitement as you. as for your guy not being interested in planning, i dont know that all grooms care about details like brides. maybe ask him to find a time when he will talk about planning, and stick to it. i know my guy gets a little overwhelmed when i shove pinterest in his face with all its wedding diy deas. so i just ask him, do you want to go over stuff later? and we do for about 45mins. then he reaches his limit and we do something else. 

Post # 3
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

1) Fiancee’s dad–seriously why “still” be upset over that.  It’s nothing new.

Fiancee’s brother–not a great move, however, in some versions of Catholocism people cannot attend invalid weddings without risking sin.  A church approved mixed marriage or natural marriage (between two non-Catholics) would be ok but a non-Catholic marriage between a Catholic and not isn’t.  It’s a tough position to be in.  He’s standing up fo rhis faith…agian not a great move but atleast he’s not waffaling

Mom is a single mom who’s husband is estranged from her son(s) and who lives far…she may feel she has nothing to give.

2) Your previous experiance may have something to do with that.  Moms get attached to the wierdest things.  She may have gotten attached to some of that and not willing to let it go.  No you weren’t married, but you went through the motions then the devistation.  Unless your parents were dip wads and left you alone after the engagment broke you need to let them have their own feelings on the matter.  This may not be as exciting…nothing ever is so exciting as the first time.  You lost that specialness because your first fiancee was a dip…its tough but nothing you can do about it.

3) This is the one I have the biggest issue with.  Not that anyone should be a baby when they don’t get what they want, but i would be a bit testy if I told my fiancee that I wanted a small wedding and he couldn’t keep his guest list down.  My FI and I are both introverts but let me tell you if he was not and I said I wanted under 30 and we wound up with 50+ becuase he “couldn’t not invite XYZ” I would probably ask him to go to councelling.  Are you sure this is not something that he is not just soley doing out of love for you and not becuase it’s really waht he wants?

4) If 3 is a croud 5 is even more.  Often people don’t want to step on other’s toes.  Plus I’ve never really heard of anyone  but a maid of honor really  helping out.  Ask them if they can do XYZ…don’t sit around hoping they are browsing pinterest for you.

Post # 4
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I just have to say, i planned a wedding for 250 people. I did it for our mothers and my husband. I wanted a small party in my backyard. I am an introvert and had to attend counselling for months before the wedding to prepare. AND i had to be put on anti-depressents because the stress caused a tailspin for me. 

I hated every second of it and was miserable until the last thank you card was sent. I dont resent my husband for making me have a large wedding, but i think he might regret it because he knows i dont look back on my wedding with happiness. 

Basically i’m saying you cant expect your husband to be super happy and involved when this isn’t want he wants.  Sorry, those are facts. Also, hes a dude and doesn’t care about wedding logistics. 

And you get one day. You cant expect your bridemaids to want to talk and help all the time.  They aren’t your servants and unless you ask, they wont know you need them. 

Post # 5
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Coastiewife:  I don’t have great advice other than just don’t pay mind to those things. You’ll drive yourself crazy! I have almost the same issues. We are having a small wedding and no bridesmaids or groomsmen. My sisters offered help once but they really don’t ask me anything about stuff. I just invited them to dress shopping in two weeks and they were just like ok. not one bit of excitement for me. My mother the same thing. She’s  actually out of town for my first dress shopping day. My FMIL offered help but just asked me once what was going on. My fiancé doesn’t really seem interested either he uses the attitude of “whatever you want” which to me is a cop out! Lol but of course he’ll say “just want you to be happy”. Grrrr. Lol  so just do what you have to do. And if you can delegate anything do so. try not to let everyone else’s issues effect you. I know it can feel lonely at times and for me sad but I just try to understand maybe I’m stressed and just emotional about the whole thing. Oh and we are on a small budget so we are just having family so some of my so called friends have also distanced themselves and don’t inquire. and then there are some who are happy for me And understand My situation. 

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