- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I have a hard time looking back at my wedding day with fondness (which was last friday)…first, my sister threw an enourmous fit while my husband and I waited to make our grand entrance, (she’s 17 and had been throwing terrible tantrums during the entire wedding week, causing many to ask me what is wrong with her) Anways, someone finally distracted her long enough so that my parents could go inside and watch our entrance…..then she refused to stand up while they announced that she would be making her planned speach…she instead just sat there, in a daze…so my stepfather stood up and gave his first.
Then my mother in law, refused to eat. She was seated with us and my parents and my brother. She was the only emmediate family member of his that attended the wedding. All she kept saying was that she already ate…and just kept refusing the food…and she looked terrible upset and uncomforable. I told my husband that if she wasn’t comfortable sitting with us she could go sit with her niece or sister who were at a reserved table very close to us….but she kept sitting there sulking.
then we noticed my husbandds aunt sobbing at the reserved table near us…like uncontrollably sobbing to the point where we were afraid she had gotten some terrble news or something…so we tried to find out what was wron but no one would tell us anything. She was even sobbing all over my husbands best man, leaving him looking terrbily upset as well. Later on I was told she was sobbing b ecause she felt so upset that she wasn’t seated at the head table with us. (she didn’t confirm her attendance until days before the wedding, when seating arrangments had already been made).
Then, catastrphe struck again after our first dance…the song in wich I was supposed to dance with my father while my hsubadn danced with his mother…began to play. My father called the day before to tell me he wouldn’t make it to my wedding…I was devestated, he had a major panick attack when he tried to board the plane. So, obviously we had to improvise. My step father came and danced with me, and while the plan was for my husbadn to still dance with his mother, somehow there was some confusion and my cousins grabbed MY mother to dance with my husband first. All seemed fine until it was time to switch partners in which I danced with my brother and my husband danced with his mother….and then SHE began sobbing uncontrollably….at first I thought perhaps she’d been overcome with emotion? happiness? maybe sadness that she gave her son away?….no. She was sobbing because she didn’t get to dance with him first….because my mother was dragged to the dancefloor and no one recified the mishap in time.
My husband was furious at how she was behaving..how his aunt was behaving but also felt terrible that they were feeling slighted….and had to step out for a while to cool off.
My mother tried to talk to my hsubands mom and apologize to her for the mistake, but she refused to even look at her.
We went on our honeymoon and my mom has been dropping by to feed my cat and stuff, only to be treated very rudely by my mother in law.
There was also a sanfu at the rehearsal dinner, while we went over the presession. My mother in law found it extremly disrespectful that she had to walk in with her sone first, and wait at the alter until I was handed over to him. In her culture, it’s apparently extremily disrespectful to leave the mother of the groom waiting at all, in any shape or form.
When she told me this I didn’t know what to say. This was a catholic wedding…it couldn’t be revised other than to remove her from the presession completley. I am still not clear on how they do things in their culture…I was so confused!In the end she decided to do it according to the churches way, but it was pretty akward having to try and go back and forth about that.
I guess I’m just so angry that so many people felt they needed to make the day about them and their feelings and problems.
I do feel terrbiel that our cultures ended up clashing so badly, and that they didn’t have the best experience possible at the wedding….I wish I could go back in time and change th the seating arrangments, and undo all the disorganization that was happening mostly due to last minute no-shows and last minute shows.
Wish I had a do-over…and yeah, I wish it had been more organized, but as things were going wrong, I had no congrol over them…I wish people would be a little more understanding.