Post # 1
Since we got engaged (Mar 12, and our wedding is July 14), 3 of our friends got married, 3-4 got babies. I’m having a hard time worrying about our wedding- guests can’t come because of the babies, I will gain weight instead of losing etc. :-(, I feel like I’m obsessed with it, but can’t do anything now, literally, our reception venue changed their menus and their T&C, which makes it much more expensive, so now we are back to square one. Sometimes I feel like my wedding isn’t real, and nobody takes it seriously, especially my mom, she keeps on planning for going somewhere and literally forget that our wedding is in a year, I have to keep on reminding her she needs to save and prepare the visa soon. Grr.
Sometimes I wish, if I know this is that much troubles, we should eleope sooner.
Sorry, I just want to vent. 🙁
Post # 3
@zoecn: Maybe you should elope sooner. Seriously.
I am biased, but I really don’t get the point of putting on a big party when there’s drama, people can’t make it, no one appreciates it… yadda yadda. Is there a point to stressing this much for a one evening event that is over a year away? Kinda ridiculous when you think about it. And the worst part is you have to PAY to experience all this stress!
Post # 4
I totally feel ya! We got engaged last year, and the wedding is still 16 months away from now. I feel like it will never come, and to be honest, I feel like people have forgotten that I’m actually getting married. My maid of honor just had a baby so she can no longer help me with wedding planning because she’s busy/exhausted/etc. My other bridesmaids are moving away from the area in a year as well so I’m not sure if any of them will attend. Timing is everything, it seems, with weddings and I’m sick of it. Eloping sure does sound nice, hehe.
I’m still having the reception though, because we already paid the deposit and booked a photographer.
Post # 5
We had the same feelings-we got engaged in April 12 and we were planning a weeding for NYE 2013. While most people are ok with waiting 20 months-I wasnt. I was getting more stressed and anxious than it was worth. Not to mention that the budget kept going up and up.
In Dec of 2012 we decided to move our wedding to Feb 2013! Best decision of my life-while it was stressful rushing the planning-we cut our costs in half, had the wedding I always wanted and I am not happily married and able to enjoy hearing about wedding plans and not stressing about mine.
Follow your gut!
Post # 6
@Miss Confetti: I assume that was autocorrect when you said you are “not” happily married 😉
Post # 7
@hisluckygirl22: same thing here, when we got engaged DW seems perfect because at that point, none of my friends talk about starting a family, and suddenly (must be timing) everyone now getting pregnant 🙁 . We cant change now because deposit has already put down to our planner, and I will feel let down to anyone who actually plan to come (12 said yes but who knows). Two of friends their wedding have just passed (all DW) so if I planned anything, I dont want to steal their thunder, for example, if I want to send the invites, I have to wait until 1-2 months after their wedding. I know it sounds silly, but it happens to us. lol.
Post # 8
@Miss Confetti: we discussed about moving the wedding sooner, because we really want to be able to call each other husband and wife now. lol, but then decided no, I’m kind of regret now. lol.
Post # 9
if this was not ur dream wedding to elope then dont! u may regret it. one of the best pieces of advice i have got off here is no one will care about ur wedding as much as u will. it is hard to keep up the momentum & excitement for 2 years (for other people) & in that time so so much can change. try to find one friend who is getting married around the same time as u & u guys can keep each other on track/encouraged. otherwise Miss Confetti had an excellent idea move the wedding up & make it smaller or whatever u need to do to make it happen the way u want. hang in there:)
Post # 10
I got engaged last February and we planned on an April wedding but some snafus came up and we had to move the date- leaving us with a 20 month engagement. Best thing that could have ever happened to us, even though i didnt think so before. Take the time to just enjoy being engaged, don’t worry about the plans of other folks. And now that you have over a year to plan, you have time to explore all sorts of vendor options without feeling rushed to make a decision. The best vendors also get booked pretty quickly so now you can be a 100% sure you’ll be able to work with them, without being worried that they’ve already been booked.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2013 - Pavilion at Rocky Neck State Park
I know how you feel. We got engaged November 2011. We were planning a wedding for 2014 or 2015. We hated the waiting, especially because we were rarely together, due to being in a long distance relationship (he is in the army and the base is 1100 miles away). He found out he was getting deployed and literally 2 days before his unexpected 10 day leave, we decided to do a civil ceremony with our immediate family and a small brunch reception after.
Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted the “fairy tale” wedding. However, I don’t regret it even for a second. I am so happy to call him my husband. We are now planning the BIG wedding now and our wedding date will be 2 weeks before our 1 year anniversary.
This is just my story and my opinion, but if you want to do, then do it! Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Post # 12
@canarydiamond: I agree with this.
I would not be able to deal with planning a wedding for years, in other countries, etc. Seems like the whole thing will be expensive and likely a huge let down due to too much build up.
Also, I’m never too happy to be asked to shell out a bunch of money for travel expenses for a wedding. We do not attend destination weddings, as a rule. It would have to be my sister or his brother and even then, it would be questionable. We only have so much money to spend on vacationing and we’d prefer to choose our own.
If you want to have a wedding that requires guests to shell out a lot to go, by all means do it. But don’t be mad when no one comes.
Post # 13
@zoecn: Just seriously think about eloping and whether it really is right for you. Just you and your FI, whenever you decide you want to. No one else’s schedule. This might make for a much happier and romantic time for you if thinking about a wedding it so stressful.
Post # 14
@zoecn: I was engaged in August 2012 and our wedding date is June 1, 2013…a 22 month engagement.
Now that the big day is only a few months away, I can tell you the time starts to go fast. And there are benefits to being engaged for a long time. You can take your time buying things and shopping around for the best deals, which will save you money. You get to enjoy being engaged and have the wedding to look forward to (because remember, once it’s over it’s over and a lot of brides really miss the planning…so enjoy it!)
As for other people, forget about ththink the true friends will make the effort, no matter when your wedding is or what their personal situation is like. Thats what my own wedding is teaching me…especially since im marrying abroad…true friends will make it happen.
so focus on the positives and your day will come quicker than you can imagine! I promise, because I’ve been there too 🙂
Post # 15
@SupermarketGirl: very true-HUGE typo! haha
Post # 16
We got engaged in ’09! We knew we wouldn’t really be in a comfortable enough position for a few years to actually move forward with wedding plans, so we didn’t even start planning anything until about September ’12. We bought houses, and people had babies, people started relationships and got married in this time, but we weren’t stressed because we had other plans. We didnt really talk about our wedding much, because who can get excited about an event thats 2-3 years away?
My point is, if you know the date is so far away, don’t make it your whole life. Focus on the rest of life until it really starts to become time where you need to plan.