Wedding Jitters

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How are you feeling about your upcoming wedding?
    I'm freaking and need medication : (4 votes)
    15 %
    I'm cool and confident : (11 votes)
    42 %
    Taking it one day at a time : (11 votes)
    42 %
    Taking it one day at a time : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    30284 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Orchidgirl80:  I’m the crazy banana lady around the community, but I swear by bananas to calm your nerves!

    (I’m a classical musician – the banana trick always worked for me before performances, so I used it on wedding day.  Worked like a dream!)

    Post # 4
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I voted cool and confident. HAHA I wonder if this will change over the next year 🙂

    Post # 5
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    The only time people watching us was nerve wracking was walking down the aisle in the first few seconds. Then the entire ceremony we just were in our own little bubble, and during the reception we were either in a love bubble or having so much fun celebrating that we didn’t notice or care that everybody was watching us dance or whatever. If you can live past the first few seconds of walking down the aisle, you’ll be okay 🙂

    Post # 6
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    I felt very insecure. I can say this to you from the other end of the spectrum – that it does get better, even if it (oftentimes) doesn’t feel that way.

    Weddings can cloud a lot. There were so many times when we were dating that I felt ready – then I’d pull back and ask him to postpone. I was frightened by the prospect of ‘forever.’ Part of me felt I could only accomplish the rest of my life alone. Yet, I’d been fine dating him all along. Fear grabbed hold of me.

    Weddings can be overwhelming. I had 9 months to get into ‘wife’ mode. I was scared when I got married. Honestly, I was happiest after the wedding. A lot of our daily life did go back to normal. But people also treated us differently, and things did change, if even only slightly, between us emotionally.

    Being scared is NORMAL. So many people will say things like, “You shouldn’t feel…” screw that. People process things differently. I’ve known people who claimed no fear. I’ve known others who were shaking and trembling. In both sets, I’ve known marriages to end and marriages to prosper.

    Marriage can be a big change. As a sort of parallel, my husband and I recently found a wonderful house. It was wonderful…until the paperwork and the permanency set in. I looked at my husband and saw the terror there.

    “I hope I don’t lose my job in the next 20 years,” he was saying. He’s lived in our current apartment for nearly 5 years – happily employed – and I said, “What’s that different from how we pay our bills now?” I reassured him that – God forbid – he’s in a very employable field, knows many people and would make more than enough from unemployment in the interim to pay off our debts. He seemed to relax.

    Fear is normal. It’s not always rational. But in most cases, this will resolve as you get closer. I began feeling more peaceful the week of our wedding. The day of – and especially after the ‘big events’ of the wedding were done and we could just relax and dance – I felt very at ease.

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