Post # 1
So the other day my FI and I were talking and he was stating how uncomfortable he was going to be with everyone looking at him. He stated that “sometimes I wish I hadn’t proposed because this feels so huge!”. For half a second I was hurt but then I thought since he was being honest, I would be also. So I stated that sometimes I wanted to throw the ring back at him and say “let’s just keep living together and pretend that nothing changed”. I mean we’ve been living together for 6 yrs now (and have 2 kiddos together) so technically nothing will change in regards to everyday life but sometimes it just feels like EVERYTHING is going to change and I start to hyperventilate. I’m a tad worried because if I feel this way and we still have almost a year to go, how will I feel when the time is actually here?
The good thing about the conversation is that at least I know I’m not alone in panicking, lol. So my question is – Are any other brides (whether you’ve been together years or not) having panic attacks and how did you deal with them?
Post # 3
@Orchidgirl80: I’m the crazy banana lady around the community, but I swear by bananas to calm your nerves!
(I’m a classical musician – the banana trick always worked for me before performances, so I used it on wedding day. Worked like a dream!)
Post # 4
I voted cool and confident. HAHA I wonder if this will change over the next year 🙂
Post # 5
The only time people watching us was nerve wracking was walking down the aisle in the first few seconds. Then the entire ceremony we just were in our own little bubble, and during the reception we were either in a love bubble or having so much fun celebrating that we didn’t notice or care that everybody was watching us dance or whatever. If you can live past the first few seconds of walking down the aisle, you’ll be okay 🙂
Post # 6
I felt very insecure. I can say this to you from the other end of the spectrum – that it does get better, even if it (oftentimes) doesn’t feel that way.
Weddings can cloud a lot. There were so many times when we were dating that I felt ready – then I’d pull back and ask him to postpone. I was frightened by the prospect of ‘forever.’ Part of me felt I could only accomplish the rest of my life alone. Yet, I’d been fine dating him all along. Fear grabbed hold of me.
Weddings can be overwhelming. I had 9 months to get into ‘wife’ mode. I was scared when I got married. Honestly, I was happiest after the wedding. A lot of our daily life did go back to normal. But people also treated us differently, and things did change, if even only slightly, between us emotionally.
Being scared is NORMAL. So many people will say things like, “You shouldn’t feel…” screw that. People process things differently. I’ve known people who claimed no fear. I’ve known others who were shaking and trembling. In both sets, I’ve known marriages to end and marriages to prosper.
Marriage can be a big change. As a sort of parallel, my husband and I recently found a wonderful house. It was wonderful…until the paperwork and the permanency set in. I looked at my husband and saw the terror there.
“I hope I don’t lose my job in the next 20 years,” he was saying. He’s lived in our current apartment for nearly 5 years – happily employed – and I said, “What’s that different from how we pay our bills now?” I reassured him that – God forbid – he’s in a very employable field, knows many people and would make more than enough from unemployment in the interim to pay off our debts. He seemed to relax.
Fear is normal. It’s not always rational. But in most cases, this will resolve as you get closer. I began feeling more peaceful the week of our wedding. The day of – and especially after the ‘big events’ of the wedding were done and we could just relax and dance – I felt very at ease.