Post # 1
FI and I relocated from the midwest to CA within the last year. Both of our families (minus two siblings) live in the midwest. We are trying to figure out if it is rude/asking too much to have the wedding across the country, when nearly all of the guests will have to fly to attend.
Would it be inconsiderate of us to have the wedding near our current location?
Post # 3
We are having our wedding in our location; my family lives 500 miles away, and FI’s family is 1000 miles away. We figured since half the people would have to travel regardless, we’d do it where it was convienent for us. I think if you do this, though, you have to give significant notice (we have 10 months notice with our STDs, and word of mouth prior to that), and be aware that a good chunk may not come because of the travel expenses.
Post # 4
You can have it where you want, just recognize you may get many fewer guests if they all have to fly- possibly people you really want there.
Post # 5
We’re having ours in our hometown. It means about 20% are in town guests. If we had it where we are it would be more like 5% in town guests. It will probably mean lower attendance if all of your guests have to travel. But sometimes you can’t avoid having a lot of OOT guests.
Post # 6
This is always difficult. In your situation, with both families (and probably many friends) in the midwest, I would probably try and organize it there. There’s nothing especially wrong with asking them to come to you, but you do need to consider the expense and inconvenience of what you’re asking, and whether people that are important to you, and who really would like to be there, can manage it.
Post # 7
we had the same question.
unfortunately, you will have to expect a lot of guests to decline if it’s oot. it was important to us to have all of our family and friends with us. it was very small (38 guests) and we couldn’t ask them all to travel so it was easier for us just to travel.
i flew back for a week and searched venues and then planned the rest of the wedding from out of the country. it wasn’t that difficult. it was all done by emails and phone calls. tuxes, floral, favours, cake, decor, etc. we flew in about 10 days prior to the wedding and put the pieces together. easy. i would do it all again.
Post # 8
I am in the process of moving back to my hometown. But when I started planning, I was planning a wedding from a different state. Our venue is 3 hours from my hometown. It just worked better for us that way. Plus, I just couldn’t see myself getting married in Arizona.
Post # 9
Ditto what previous posters have said about expecting a higher number of declines. We live across the country from our families and we had a 44% decline rate. Overall, we were willing to sacrifice the guest count and have a more intimate wedding because it allowed us to have the wedding of our dreams (which might have been a little harder to achieve in either of our hometowns, which aren’t necessarily the “happening” sort of places Boston is).
Post # 10
I think if you’re ok with having a potentially higher % of declines, then do it close to you. It would be so much easier to plan and organize.