wedding meltdown, im sobbing

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@canadajane:  That really bites. He should have to uninvite them.

Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Have invitations been sent out? If not, get FI to uninvite them, by explaining the small guest numbers etc. If they aren’t super important people in his life, it is worth them possibly getting offended if it allows you to be happy and comfortable on your wedding day. 

Post # 5
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@canadajane:  OMG! FI would be in deep shit if he pulled that crap. He needs to uninvite them

Post # 6
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@canadajane:  I am going to go against pp’s and say that it is your FI’s wedding too. I think you need to talk to your FI but I also think you need to be respectful to his wants as well. In your post it was all about you (I did this, I made it perfectly clear) and not much about him. Maybe he felt bullied by you and your wants.

I don’t condone what he did but I think there might be an underlying issue here which might be that he doesn;t feel like this is his wedding too and this was his way of making it about him as well.

Post # 7
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@canadajane:  Have you asked him why he would unilaterally increase your guest list by almost 40%? That’s crazy and doesn’t bespeak good teamwork for the future. 

Post # 8
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@j_jaye:  possibly, but it doesn’t speak well of him that he didn’t have an adult conversation before taking an apparently unilateral action. 

Post # 9
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@HannahGrace:  And that is why I said I don’t condone what he did.

Post # 10
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@j_jaye:  I know. My point is that they both sound like terrible communicators and this does not bode well long term. 

Post # 11
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@HannahGrace:  

They both sound like terrible communicators? Gosh, that’s a massive call for you to be making off the info provided. Yes, communication has fallen down in this instance, but I don’t see the need to be making huge assumptions about this couple and their future together. 

Post # 12
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Why are people so quick to judge & label people & their relationships…Holy cow! We are supposed to be here to listen, support, & help each other out, through conversation & advice…not through criticism & shit talking!

I’m really sorry that he did that.  That sucks. Have you thought about what to do? Obviously you’re going to have to talk to him about it. Are you going to try to have him maybe uninvite them or do you think you might have to just have those people as guests? Does it make you want to invite some of your acquaintances? 

 

Post # 13
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

I agree with @Peanut-Sue! & I’d be pissed off as well :/ I’m curious though if he’s not close to them how/ why invite them? And if he didn’t send an invite I’d want him to uninvite them… It’s one thing if he were close to them- I’d be annoyed but able to deal with it but random guests?

Post # 14
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

OP says they had numerous conversations — I dont see a lack of communication on her part.   I would be very concerned about this. 

Post # 15
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Unless the invitations have been sent, he hasn’t invited them! Tell him that sorry but he’ll have to tell them he made a mistake and they’re not invited. He caused the problem now he can solve it.

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