Wedding money

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
8419 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

sarahroby:  We paid for the majority of our wedding (80%), but the amount of help you receive is going to vary greatly from family to family.  There are some brides that were lucky enough to have their parents pay for an expensive affair (i.e. $20k+) and there are some brides that will get no assistance from their families.  I personally recommend planning the wedding that you can afford on your own, then if your families decide they want to contribute, you can always add/upgrade things later on.

Post # 3
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

NEVER make a plan to spend money that you don’t already have. It’s a good way to set yourself up for disappointment, or worse. Any money that you receive from your wedding should be treated as an unexpected bonus. Why not wait, see how much you get, and go from there?

EDIT: PP and I read your post in completely different ways, so some clarification may be in order. Are you asking us how much you should expect your friends and family to contribute to paying for the wedding upfront? Or are you asking how much money was received as gifts from friends and family on the back end?

Post # 5
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it depends on so many factors.

how many people are you inviting? 

who you are inviting?  poor friends, rich relative, etc.

how formal of an event?  (people tend to give more money to formal weddings than backyard weddings)

you can estimate, but some people will give cash and some people will buy from the registery. every wedding is different.

 

Post # 6
Member
8419 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

sarahroby:  Ah sorry, I misunderstood your original post.  We actually ended up breaking even.  However, my family is Chinese, so cash gifts are customary, plus we spent very little on flowers, decor, attire, etc., and the majority of our budget on food and alcohol (3 events over 3 days).  Our entire budget was only 25% of our spendable savings though, so even if we didn’t receive any gifts we would still be able to make major purchases after.  I wouldn’t recommend any bride and/or groom deplete their savings for a wedding in hopes that they will replenish those funds in gifts; it could put them in a very bad position financially (this happened to a friend of mine).

Post # 7
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We just had our wedding Saturday. There were about 250 ppl there. We receive money from about 60-70% and received around $8,000. Idk what’s normal though, and we did not pay for any of the wedding ourselves. 

Post # 8
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We had about 140 at our wedding. Most people gave gifts off the registry, which was good. We didn’t even think that people would give us money (didnt even cross our minds!) but after the wedding when we were opening up cards, we got right at $5,000. That came as a nice surprise. We also didn’t pay for any of the wedding ourselves.

Post # 9
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think that planning on a specific monetary amount is setting yourself up for failure. There’s no way to know how much people will give you, how many will bring actual material gifts instead, etc. Let the gift be a nice little windfall, not something you’ve planned on having in order to make ends meet.

Post # 10
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would say on average, people gave $50. We had 90ish guests and received around $2200 I believe, plus some boxed gifts. I’m sure this varies greatly by region and culture though.

Post # 11
Member
13004 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m confused as to why you need to plan to try to use money that isn’t even in your hands yet?  Are you relying on it for something?  Day dreaming about a splurge?  I guess it’s good to plan, but just sounds like a poor financial decision whatever the plan is if you’re relying on and itching to spend money you don’t even have yet.

But I guess to answer the question anyways, we invited about 150 people and received about 9k in cash gifts.

Post # 12
Member
8419 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

sarahroby:  I just realized I never listed any numbers in my reply lol.  We hosted 50 guests and received $11k.

Post # 13
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

we had 150 ppl and received $25000 in gifts so it almost paid for our wedding, we used the rule of thumb $100 a person when planning and then we were pleasantly surprised when we opened the cards

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  .
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  .
Post # 14
Member
2524 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

sarahroby:  for gift money, we received:

1500 from DH’s grandmother

100 from my grandmother

25 from my other grandmother

50 from my mom’s coworker

500 from MIL’s boss (who was not invited to the wedding, but gave anyway)

150 from my grandpa and his girlfriend

I think that’s it as far as cash goes. We did receive about $125 in gift cards from DH’s coworkers.

 

So for cash that’s a total of $2325 (USD). Oh, and about 250 euro from my German cousins, which we spent on our honeymoon. A nice chunk of change, but believe me, it went fast. We spent a lot of DH’s grandmother’s gift on wedding bands (she gave before the wedding, and mine had diamonds in it- ka-ching). For perspective, we had a destination wedding overseas (we sent 60 invitations= 150 people) with 20 people attending. None of our friends gave gifts, since it was a stretch for them to come (we are all in our 20’s). 

I would say not to expect too much money. Half of ours came from one person, so if she hadn’t given cash, we wouldn’t have received much. I think most of it actually got used to pay our monthly bills, but we told people that it went to our rennovation projects (I guess theoretically it could have, because if we didn’t use their $100 for it, we used a different $100 later, if you get what I mean).

 

ETA: my side of the family doesn’t have much money. DH’s side is wealthier, but only a couple of people. I can’t believe how much some people received (10k+)! I was kind of expecting a bit more money, but some people are still sending gifts, and we did get a lot of great items from our registry. Remember to take into account the economical status of your invitees.

Post # 15
Member
2524 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

I also forgot to mention that my parents and his parents each gave 10K to pay for the wedding. So that was huge!

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