Post # 1
Hello fellow Bees!
I am wondering what things you initially THOUGHT you wanted, needed or “had to have!” at your wedding…that you eventually realized were unnecessary, silly, or out of budget, etc?
As a relatively soon-to-be wedding-planning Bee, I’m wondering which “must-haves” YOU had that turned out to be not-so-important after all (whether you ended up including them in your wedding or not!)
Thanks in advance, all!
Post # 3
@bigcitybee: Hmm…I originally thought a “must have” for me was a plated dinner. I was appalled at the thought of my own wedding NOT having a plated dinner. So I found out how much more budget-friendly a station-style dinner was, but what’s more…using stations meant we got 3x the choices for our guests as opposed to a plated meal.
Elaborate, expensive invitations. We used minted.com, and even though they’ve not been mailed yet, ladies on the Bee and friends have RAVED over the invitations we picked. I quickly realized how bad I’d feel spending $1300 on paper and mabye some ribbon. I’ve never once kept a wedding invitation we’ve received (can barely remember them), and I’ve had several of my very, very good friends get married.
Post # 4
I had to have bouts/corsages for everyone and I don’t think anyone other than Darling Husband really needed one.
I wanted a groom’s cake. While mine was nice, there was so much cake that everyone didn’t eat it. People liked looking at it though!
I realized early on a limo wasn’t necesary (not for 2k).
My candy bar could have gone away too. Candy is expensive! I had a desert/ fondue bar as well and that was more popular.
Post # 5
@PinkMagnolia: Oooh yum, if I went to a wedding with a candy bar and fondue, I’d choose fondue every single time. No wonder it was popular!!
Post # 6
Loving everyone’s input so far! Thanks so much for responding (and YUM fondue!)
Post # 7
@bigcitybee: My initial idea was to hang dozens of those Chinese paper lanterns from the ceiling in our reception venue–however, after pricing everything, it definitely didn’t seem doable. Instead, we’ll be making some DIY chandeliers out of spray painted hoola hoops and some icicle Christmas lights, a la this:
It fits in better with our romantic garden theme, anyway. 🙂
Post # 8
Limo. We really thought we HAD to have one to at least leave the reception in, but it will take 10 minutes to get us where we’re going, we’d be paying over $100 for the entire hour, and we realized that we can get someone to drive us in our car, or we can take a cab.
I’m still a tad sad when I think about not having the iconic moment of pulling away in the limo, but then I get sadder when I think about one-hundred precious dollars of my tight budget being spent on 10 minutes in a car. I could invite 3 more guests for that amount. Maybe pulling away in a cab will be almost as cool?
Post # 9
Fancy invitations. When I first got engaged, I thought that of course we had to have very spectacular invitations. They’re the first wedding thing guests will see! They set the tone of the event!
… Once we started allocating our budget and discussing priorities (and experiencing sticker shock over the price of some elaborate invitations), paper products ended up being a very low priority. Other than your mom and maybe your best friend, everybody will throw them away. We chose to focus our resources on the things that really mattered to us (photography) and would make the wedding the most FUN – great food and drink (and plenty of it) and entertainment.
Post # 10
Fancy invites, but it really is an unneccesary place to spend your money!!
Post # 11
I have to agree I always pictured ridding off in a limo, but now i see its not necessary and is a waste of money if its only getting used for a short time
Post # 12
A violinist during receiving line/antipasto bar. But not just any violinist…The coolest violinist ever who plays classic rock and Top 40 songs. Ohhh I just had to have it. Then I found out that he charges $900 for the hour and a half I wanted him for! That’s a mortgage payment!! My DJ for the entire night only cost $1000 and that includes lighting! Sometimes though I still think about how cool it would have been to have that violinist….I have just a slight regret over not getting him.
Post # 13
My wedding is in two months and I seriously regret getting a band. I was pushed into it by all sides. I was told it would not be a good wedding without a band (which I seriously disagreed with, but my dad was REALLY insistent) and recently my future in laws attended an event where there was a DJ and a singer and he said it was amazing. I was so angry that what I wanted this whole time (to preserve the songs and their qualities as opposed to having them butchered) was later approved of by the very people who said they hated DJ’s. UGH.
I really wanted to keep my invite budget small but my in-laws were also insistent upon having nice ones. We came to a compromise with a suite that cost under $1,000.00, and my Future Mother-In-Law ended up paying for them voluntarily, but I wish I had stuck to my guns because she later got offended by the wording and wanted top billing, aka she wanted Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law to be listed first instead of my parents….that was DEFINITELY not worth the free money.
My last regret was going with a hotel. Although it is going to be gorgeous and everything I could have dreamed of, I still feel a sort of guilt for wanting this pretty luxurious event. I keep reigning in the budget but all sides keep saying that if we are going all out, everything has to be REALLY nice. Really nice costs money.
A destination wedding in Italy would have been my choice but my parents refused. Sigh.
Post # 14
I thought I had to have a fancy, fondant, ornate cake, but when it came time to pick one out, I just couldn’t bear to spend that much money on cake. We ended up just getting a very simple buttercream cake for under $150, versus the $750 I had been quoted for cakes like what I originally wanted.
Post # 15
I’m loving the feedback in this thread! So helpful.
Post # 16
I’m still thinking that having sidewalls inside our inside venue is a requirement. But for $400??? Thinking of other plans now…..