Wedding near us or our families?

posted 3 years ago in Venue
  • poll: Where would you suggest we have the wedding?
    In Arizona, closer to you! : (10 votes)
    50 %
    In Connecticut, closer to your families! : (10 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @LovelyLee:  I think you are being verykind taking into consideration your family’s needs and limitations. However, from a selfish standpoint, the idea of getting married where you are making a HOME and where it is cheaper to boot sounds great!

     

    I vote for an AZ wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @LovelyLee:  Ha, we have a reverse situation. FI and I live in CT and our families live in MD and VA. We opted to have the wedding in VA because no one lives even a little close to us, and we wanted to make it easier for our families and friends to attend. Also, it’s cheaper for us to have the wedding in VA than in CT is (weddings here seem a little more pricey!). We really haven’t had to make that many trips down yet (only 1 to scope out venues), so it hasn’t been too bad yet. 

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I’d probably choose Connecticut. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If it’s important that more of your friends and family come, have it close to them.  We got married in my hometown, which is a 2 hour drive from where we currently live and only 40 minutes from his parents.  Not ideal for us, but made it easy for our families. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We had the same issue! We decided to get married near our families. It didn’t feel fair for us to make them travel for our convienence, and we did ALL of our wedding planning in 3 trips!

    So that wasn’t a problem.

    Post # 8
    Member
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Squaw Valley

    @LovelyLee:  If having the wedding in AZ is most important to you, you should totally go for it, as long as you won’t be offended by people don’t come.  We were on the guest list side of your scenario last year.  Bride & groom moved far away and chose to have their wedding there.  I don’t mind that they chose to do that at all & it made sense to me.  As a bride it’s easier to plan a wedding closer to where you live.  This bride however was super disappointed to find that most of their invited guests did not come.  We wanted to go, but ultimately decided we couldn’t really afford to take the trip (we aren’t even close to the bride or groom. The bride is the sister of FI’s friend.)  A few of our friends also declined the invitation.  Unfortunately, the bride & her family are still angry about it to this day.  There have been more than a few rude comments made about all the people who didn’t go.

    So if you won’t be offended by people who can’t make it, go for it!  The people you are closest to will likely do whatever it takes to get there.

    Post # 9
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    It really depends on how important it is to you to have your family and friends there, versus having a less expensive wedding. If it were me, I would have it where you currently live. It will be WAY easier on you and you will have your immediate family, the most important people (presumably) there. My husband and I faced a similar decision. We had our wedding near his family because his father and grandmother (whom he is very close to) are both disabled and can’t travel at all. Otherwise we would have had in where we live. It was hard planning a wedding across the country.

    Post # 10
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @almostmrsj:  +1

     

     

    @LovelyLee:  We went through the same thing for picking where we wanted to get married(We moved down to Florida for school/work but all of our family is up in Michigan) After talking and going over things, we decided on Michigan. Yes it makes things a little harder for planning(I have only been up there once since getting engaged to go to places and will not be back up till May next year) but my sister, father, and FMIL have been wonderful and checking out places for us and everything. Plus we met a few people(officiants, dj, etc) over skype.

    You made a great list but now you just gotta figure out what you and your FI feels is the best for it all and what is the most important to you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    You’re going to spend a few years probably making trips back and forth to CT to see your families, spend holidays with them, other family functions, this may be one of the few times they would have to come to YOU. I had this mentality when I chose where I was rather than where I was from (MD vs MA, so closer) and I can’t imagine planning a wedding in a place where I didn’t live becaue you have so much to do in person.

    Post # 15
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    What about a small wedding in each place? Or your wedding in AZ and a party/reception in CT?

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