(Closed) Wedding Night

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
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  • Post # 4
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Sorry, I know my post is why you are posting this!

    To clarify, we actually had sex for a couple years before we paused and took a break.

    I’ve had lots of virgin friends who said it was “magical” but also “not what they expected”. I think if you arm yourself with information and are realistic about it, you will be fine. Even “bad sex nights” are still a wonderful bonding moment even if everything is very not romantic! Your honeymoon night isn’t going to be mind-blowingly orgasmic or anything, but it’s special, and THAT is the most important thing. You got the rest of your lives to figure out how to bring in that kind of hot spice =]

    Post # 6
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    The first time my fiance and I had sex, he made homemade strawberry gelato and brought champagne (I love champagne).  It was so thoughtful and sweet….and I got to eat fabulous strawberry gelato for breakfast!

    Post # 7
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    haha, just be prepared, the male genitilia isn’t exactly a gorgeous thing to gaze upon  Tongue out

    Romantic-wise, well….our reception ended at 11pm. He didn’t exactly shower me in rose petals or anything overly romantic. Are you expecting him to do something? You could drop hints to a friend to let him subtly know. We got to our cheap hotel at like, midnight (hey it was close to my house and my family was there…nothing fancy for us i guess, oh well!). I was really sweaty from the dress and dancing and we both had a few drinks in us. He pointed at my Spanx and said “what the hell is that?!” and we had a good laugh. Besides the whispering of sweet nothings, there isn’t a whole lot of story to tell. Except my parents did call at about 130am. We weren’t too happy about that. Good thing the phone was off.  

    For our honeymoon, we had a jacuzzi in our room. We frequently filled it up with bubbles and read and played footsie and snuggled in there. We also would sit around in our bathrobes and read and snuggle. Catching a pattern? =] The ‘we’re relaxed not exhausted’ mood really comes into play.

    Plus, even if you’re finally married, there’s something very vulnerable about seeing each other like that that i’d only imagine takes a little getting used to! It took me a very long time to get that comfortable around my husband. Even now I sometimes laugh that I feel initially uncomfortable if he’s in the shower and i want to go brush my teeth or something. Like “who’s that naked guy?!” Tongue out

    @stacymarie, that’s AWESOME! DH loves Jello Cheesecake. =].

    Also, side note. Him being “romantic in bed” definitely consists of him not being, er, selfish. There is no, “i got mine goodnight” in our household

    Post # 8
    Member
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We didn’t finish with our reception until 3 am.  It was late, we were tired, and we decided to sleep instead… very romantic I know!

    Post # 9
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee

    A friend of mine who was waiting until her wedding had gone to the health clinic on campus to talk contraceptives before marriage.  When the nurse heard that she was a virgin, she said “Ouch the wedding night is going to hurt.” This shocked and scared my friend a lot and it took a lot of convincing out of us to relax her.  A different friend of mine who waited said that after a few glasses of champange and a night of dancing, she was ready and it was a blissful experience.

    The point is this experience is not going to be like anyone elses. You just have to be comfortable with the subject and yourself.  I would encourage to talk to him about his expectations for the night and your nerves.  The more comfortable you are about talking about sex and imagining him naked (which can be a surprise!) the eaiser it will be when the night is finally there!

    Hope this helps 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yeah, seeing a guy naked for the first time is definitely a weird experience ;o)

    I would just say don’t put too much pressure on yourself.  The first time for anyone is going to be a bit awkward, esp. if it’s two people who have never done it before.  Just relax and be ready to take your and be able to laugh about things with each other.

    As for pain, I really thought it was just more a weird/uncomfortable feeling at first, not painful at all.  But I think it depends how much you’ve “done” prior to having actual intercourse, if you’ve been to gyno, etc.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Oh, and definitely don’t try anything in the jacuzzi!  Jacuzzi sex = bladder infection = miserable honeymoon!

    Post # 13
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @hotchildinthecity- good point! And on that front, if you can, always pee asap after sex (like within an hour or so). Doing this really really cuts down the chance of a urinary tract infection which (while it’s not a big deal at ALL and a super easy fix) can be really uncomfortable/a mood killer.

    I’d say just don’t expect it to be wonderful/perfect/magical/just like on tv. Go into it with a sense of humor and a lot of patience. Even if you weren’t both virgins, it takes a little bit for two people to get each other’s rhythms usually. Since you are both virgins, it may take a few weeks or months even to really get to that “amazing sex” point. But even if the sex itself isn’t super-fantastic right away, the experience will be because it will be so special and you’ll get to learn about it all TOGETHER which is really sweet.

    Post # 14
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My parents were actually upset we didn’t answer the phone and to this day think nothing was wrong with it. They called b/c THEY left the key home (the key to OUR house that they INSISTED on staying in, so WE got a hotel) and couldn’t find my spare (even though I told them it was under my car and there’s one in the backyard, too)…well, they found it on their own. Trust me, it’s not like I was going to be all, “oh come get me, i’ll get it for you”. It was really quite inconsiderate of them.

    Jacuzzi sex can be fun with some silicone lube. We live life on the edge what can i say?

    I didn’t have any pain either. Also was an avid tampon wearer for 7 years. Also, DH said that being athletic (?) helps…not sure how basketball came into play there, but thanks?

    I agree, just don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I know you want it to be romantic and him, but don’t stress him out too much by implying he has to jump through too many hoops. A Kama Sutra book could be a good choice–I have one in particular that I give all my friends. By tradition, it was given to “teach” newlyweds how to please each other and if you’ve never engaged in those acts, it could be a good starting point for ideas besides just winging it. I just remember how awkward it was teaching DH what to do with a woman, lol. Sometimes they are just clueless, despite what they see on tv =]

    I soooo wish we’d had snacks in our hotel room. It was so late and we were so hungry! I think we had a piece of cake? ha =]. Champagne and/or wine is ncie, too. Takes the edge off

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Also, picking up a few issues of Cosmo might not hurt ;o)  Some of the advice is kind of cheesy but I remember reading it in my dorm with my girlfriends telling stories and passing around little bits of advice :o)

    Post # 16
    Member
    2342 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I give you mad props for waiting!! they’re arent too many people that do!!  It will be a very special night!

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