Post # 1
So, as it stands right now, my FH and I will not be alone on our wedding night, as one of his best men and his partner will be staying with us. And we’re cool with that! In fact, we’re looking forward to spending time with them and having a micro-after-party at our house after we get home from the reception.
But one of my matrons is asking me why FH and I aren’t spending the night alone in a hotel, and is making me feel a bit badly about the fact that we aren’t doing that. She says, “Believe me — you’ll want that.”
I know it’s tradition, but we already own a house together and have for nearly a year and a half now. Is anyone else foregoing the traditional wedding night?
Post # 3
My FI and I are staying in a hotel the night of our wedding, but mainly because our venue is about 45 minutes away from our house. If our reception was a little closer, we’d probably also not stay in a hotel & just head home. We’ve lived together for 3 years, so I get where you’re coming from.
Post # 4
@MsAmandaAnn: Our venue is 15 minutes away — if that! Everything is super-local. So it seems silly to us to spend more money on a hotel room when we can just go home to our own comfortable bed. And I’m sure said best man/partner will be completely understanding about certain extracurricular activities as newlyweds. 😉
Post # 5
We were both exhausted by the time the reception was over, so we passed out when we got home. We had been living together for two years already, and I had never had a desire to have sex in a wedding dress, so I was okay forgoing that tradition =)
Post # 6
I can honestly say that I feel like you will be forfeiting a very special night by letting other people stay with you 🙁 I’m not saying that because it’s a “tradition”, but because it is your first night as man and wife together! At least for DH and I, our entire wedding day felt so romantic and like hours of foreplay. We couldn’t wait to be alone together. We had lived together for about 10 months before marrying, and the wedding night still felt like something new and different. Besides, you are surrounded by people practically the whole day, and it was SO nice to get time alone with my new husband.
Why are people staying with you anyway? No hotels or something?
Post # 7
@Cory_loves_this_girl: Said best man/partner live in NYC and don’t have a lot of money to spend on a hotel room right now since they’re jetting off to Switzerland together for a week about a week after our wedding. We’re more than happy to host them and psyched to hang out with them, as we don’t see them often at all.
Post # 8
@leenh78: ahhh!! mine too! isn’t is greatt!!
About not spending your wedding night together, you do what you want.
Personally, I would want to spend my wedding night alone with my fiance. To be honest, and don’t take this the wrong way, I think its weird that the the best man and his partner are okay with staying over the night of your wedding. I say that because this is your first night together as husband and wife. You should cherish that.
I don’t think you should spend a night away in a hotel either because you are local , but I think you should re-consider having the guests sleep over. I hope I didn’t upset you, I just want you to be able to experience everything as a first time you know?
Post # 9
@Cory_loves_this_girl: Also, they’re local actors for a living — not a huge cash flow for them.
Post # 10
You will be SO tired! Don’t sweat it, keep your plan as is.
Post # 11
@leenh78: A lot of couples just sleep afterwards anyway, and that is ok. Depending on how often you see these friends it may be good to just bond with them and have a little after party.
To be honest, though, if I were in someone’s wedding I would just find a different place to stay becuase I’d know the bride and groom would probably want their wedding night to themselves. It’s slightly selfish that they could even think of staying with you guys on your wedding night, but if you are ok with it then there isn’t anything wrong, and don’t elt anyone make you feel bad about it.
Post # 12
We’re not forgoing it, but I had a few friends get married last year and nearly all of them said that they were so exhausted after the wedding they really didn’t take advantage of the wedding night and just went to sleep so I don’t think you’re missing out on that much.
Post # 13
@megz06: Exactly. We never see them — once a year at best, and in 2011 we didn’t see them at all.
I mean, it’s still early — they may opt to stay in the hotel block that night, but to my knowledge the plan is that they’re staying with us.
Post # 14
FI and I were out with 20+ our friends until about 3am the night of our wedding. They travelled in from out of town and we wanted to spend time with them. We did go back to our hotel room and had a super short alone time session at late, but honestly, it wasn’t that special. We were pretty drunk and I can’t say I would have missed it if we skipped on sex. I would have been upset if we skipped the hanging out with friends part and went straight to our hotel though.
The one thing I will say, is make sure your guests are capable of handling themselves in the morning for breakfast and what not. You don’t want to be getting out of bed worying about them the day after your wedding!
Post # 15
@leenh78: ooohh!!!!! than this makes sense! (Because you never get to see them!) I understand.
see for me, if my fiance was going to have his guys sleep over, I’d have to tell him no way no how bc they would just be up playing video games, and talking all nite LoL and I would be in the bedroom twiddling my thumbs! Hahah!
Post # 16
@leenh78: Our wedding party stayed with us the whole weekend and it was a blast! My husband and I lived together for almost 5 years before we were married, plus we didn’t get to bed until 5 or 6 AM and we were exhausted, so it wasn’t a big deal.