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Wedding Night Jitters. HELP!

posted 3 months ago in Intimacy

Member

104 posts

Blushing bee

Spinder February 25, 2012

So, my fiance and I have both been divorced, and neither of us have had the best experience with intimacy in general (rape, dead fish, molestation etc.). We've been saving ourselves for marriage, so that it can be like we waited for our first time, but I have to admit that I'm terrified!

I have talked to him about it, and he gets nervous about it too, but I'm scared that I won't be able to consumate properly because of my fear. I love him to death and want to be with him more than anything, but my fear sometimes grips me so hard that I've had to take an anxiety pill.

Did anyone go through something similar? How did/would you deal with it?

3 months ago

Member

3,329 posts

Sugar bee

joy2011 October 22, 2011 NE Ohio

I assume that although you're saving yourself for marriage (as we did,) you both WANT very desperately to have sex at times? (If not, then I think that's a problem that you should talk to someone about, but I digress.)

One thing I've heard that is helpful (although we didn't consumate our marriage on our wedding night, but for other reasons,) is to decide that you WON'T have sex your wedding night. Agree that you won't have ANY expectations about "when" it will happen. Just take it slow, and let it happen when you are relaxed and there is no pressure! So what if it takes even a few weeks! You have the rest of your lives!

3 months ago