- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi everyone! My hubby and I got married last week. We had a small wedding – originally we had had a count of about 110, which dwindled down to 85. The day of our wedding I noticed that we had quite a few no-shows, all who had RSVPd that they were coming, which brought the count of our whole affair down to about 60. (Many of which who left very early into the reception). I was hurt, but I always assume there is a reason for everything, especially since some of them have kiddos who are about a year old.
Maybe I’m jumping the gun, since it’s only been about four days after the wedding, (we couldn’t afford a honeymoon) but I noticed when we got home that I didn’t have any messages from any of them expressing their regret for missing the event.
I noticed that TWO of them had spent the entire time plastering facebook with posts at exactly the time of our ceremony – and well into the rest of the night. (If they had time to sit on facebook all night, couldn’t they have spent five minutes sending me a message explaining why they and their dates weren’t able to make it? I mean, that’s even easier than a phone call!! And isn’t that something a friend would do?!)
Of course, the photos of the wedding other friends have taken are all over Facebook now. (And they’re pretty awesome!) Not a peep from these guys, not one “It looks like it was fun, sorry we missd it!” comment! (But they’re very opinonated about the memes they’re posting at the same time.)
Perhaps what was worse was that we had been invited to the one couple’s wedding about a year ago, and though we weren’t able to make it (we live out of state, and actually spent the extra money to have our wedding in the state where all our family and friends are – including them!) we RSVP’d as soon as we received the invite, expressing our regret, and I chose a very nice card and wrote them a check for a wedding gift. (Which took them about five months to send a thank you card back for).
Another no-show was a guy whose been like a little brother to me for well over a decade. Again, posts on facebook, didn’t show up, and couldn’t even acknowledge I got married and that he had RSVPd “yes” but just didn’t show up. (I had actually had the DJ dedicate a special song to him, one that he was featured in and sent to me a year back and was majorly excited about.)
Then of course there were three people who were my sister-in-law’s friends (who swore they would be there) and one of my uncles, who I’m not too upset about because he’s older and doesn’t have my cell phone number or access to the internet.
It’s only a few days after the wedding, and I think it’s silly I should care so much, but I do. I’m hurt. I was tempted to send them a message saying, “We missed you the other night! I hope things are ok!” but I don’t want to seem like I’m being a pushy B****.
We couldn’t afford a honeymoon, and instead put the money into a really awesome wedding for our family and friends. I can’t help but feel a bit bitter knowing that (given if they didn’t show just for the hell of it) the cost of their plates would have given my hubby and I $300 to at least spend on a nice hotel for a cheap honeymoon. I keep telling myself that, but in all honesty, I just feel like the biggest day of my life wasn’t as important to them as sitting around and posting shit on facebook was, and that REALLY stings.
Has anyone had something similar happen? How did you handle it? Am I jumping the gun? Do I just let it go and assume that our friendships aren’t as strong as I viewed them to be?