- 3 years ago
- Wedding: February 2015
My mother lived with my father before they were married. My sister lived with her husband before they were married (they were renting an apartment in the city. got married at our family parish). In fact I have been to at least 5 other Catholic Weddings and the couples were living together.
I had always made a promise to myself to never move in with someone before we were married. Until I met FI. After 10 months I was selling my condo and we were building our dream home in a small suburb 20 mins away! Part of it was due to the market opportunities at the time, too good to pass down. The other part was a little luck, we had won a small sum of money for a downpayment. We talked about marriage and agreed everything was happening so fast but by the time we moved into the house a year later we would be engaged. If we didn’t feel ready for marriage we would sell the house when it was done being built since I didn’t want to live with someone I wasn’t committed to.
So here we are living together and engaged. We went to our first meeting with the priest (at our new church in our new town). And when he asked for our address. We both gave him the same one. For one, you are suppose to be living in the territory to belong to the parish. If I gave him my old address or my parents or his parents address he would wonder why we were coming all this way to that church. He gave us a lecture about cohabitating. He wasn’t mean about it. He was just really sturn in his beliefs and wanted to help us get on track.
He either wants us to 1) Seperate- one of us moves out 2) Move up our wedding date so we can be a married couple cohabitating soon or 3) have a wedding outside of mass (so no communion but everything else stays the same).
When I phoned my mom she seemed pretty disappointed that I wasn’t having a mass and she was mad at me for telling the preist we co-habitat. My mom told me she never told the priest that even though her and my dad lived together. My sister also told me she can’t beleive I told the priest we lived together. For her I feel like it was different though. They rented an apartment and they were getting married at the church in our hometown. Where FI moved to the middle of no where and are at a completely new parish and we bought a house togehter, a permanent residence.
Part of me feels wrong starting off our married life with a lie. Although having commuion at mass is ideal, I don’t feel comfortable saying one of us moved out just to do so. And it isn’t realistic to move out. We worked hard for our house and we have pets we both need to take care of. Any advice?