Post # 1
So my FI and I moved from CA to NC about 3 years ago, but all of my close girlfriends are still out in CA. I know that they are in school and have limited funds, so I don’t want to ask them to be BMs and make them feel like they have to fly out here, spend money on a dress, etc. We don’t have the funds to pay for their flight, although I would help with their accommodations, since we are paying for everything ourselves. Do you think it is ok to not have any MOH or BMs?
Post # 3
Of course! Sounds like my brother-in-law and his wife. She had no sisters, and he had moved interstate to be with her and so had no one to ask. So they had no bridal party. Usually the best man and MOH are the two witnesses who sign the register, but in their case two of the parents did instead. Easy!
BTW they didn’t pay anyone’s flight or accomodation (at least they didn’t pay mine!) and still the entire immediate family, and a couple of his closest friends, made the cross-country trip for the wedding.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I voted yes, you don’t need them- but what about letting them (if they can make it) wear black dresses (which you approve of.) Most likely they already have something that could work.
Post # 5
@rebwana: Thanks for your suggestion, that’s a great idea!
Do you think it will be rude to not have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, go gown shopping, etc? I really want to keep everyone’s expenses down to a minimum. I want them there as my friends and guests and not as my servants, but I don’t want them to think I’m not including them. Or am I just being paranoid? I didn’t think being a bride was going to be this hard lol.
Post # 6
I also voted yes, it’s okay – because it’s your wedding. BUT are you okay going without all the bachelorette party, bridal showers, gown shopping, etc? It’s a special part of the bridal process.
I will say it’s nice that you are thinking of your girls. It shows you are a true friend. One of my BM was asked to be in a wedding last year in TX (she lives in IN). She was unable to pay for the flight ($700 bc it was over NYE) and on top of it, she was asked to pay $200 for a dress and the hotels were expensive bc of the holiday. The bride didn’t have any money to help so she just kicked her out of the wedding. Talk about rude and making her “friend” feel like crap. She obviously didn’t care about her wedding party – so it’s nice that you do!
Would you be able to save up and fly back to CA for the weekend for a bachelorette party? Instead of asking them to fly to NC for the bridal things? I also like rebwana’s idea about having them wear their own little black dress.
You might be surprised what lengths your friends will go to for your wedding 🙂
Post # 7
We’re going without a bridal party. A couple of aunts are throwing me a bridal shower. One of my sisters and my mother have taken over a lot of the traditional “bridesmaids tasks”. I went gown shopping partially alone and partially with FI and wouldn’t have wanted to take anyone else but him. I didn’t want a bachelorette party, but if you do, a friend can still host it or you can host it yourself. If your friends can’t afford it and you asked them, you’d probably end up being disappointed anyway. So invite them as guests and involve them in other aspects where they have the time and money to be involved, but you really don’t need BMs.