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I am confused. How could a two month old even be in a wedding. What exactly does that entail?
I think you're completely right. That's just...odd to me that someone would get upset over that. But to each her own I suppose.
... wow. Yes, she's incredibly rude to assume that, and how would the baby be hurt? They're barely cognizant at that age! The baby wouldn't even be able to sit up in the wagon, he/she would just be lying there!
I'd stick to your guns on this one - I feel like your sister is being unreasonable in this particular instance. At two months old your niece/nephew is certainly not going to have their feelings hurt, it's your sister projecting her own feelings. Perhaps she's being hammered by the insanity of pregnancy hormones?
dude, why would your sister even WANT to deal with her 2 month old baby being in a wedding?! It seems kind of ridiculous to wheel an infant down an aisle in a wagon. Tell her its too much to include her kid and DON'T feel guilty about it!!
It kind of seems like she just wants to parade her baby down the aisle..
seriously...and who would be pullying this wagon? A child?
You are completely right about this.
She's being a crazy pregnant one. The baby would look ridiculous being rolled down the aisle in a wagon. He/She won't be able to sit up and will probably be asleep. Give it a few weeks and try talking to her again. Her hormones are getting the best of her.
... yeah, no. For one- a wagon? Really? Cause THAT'S safe! You are totally NOT being unreasonable. You are under no obligation to have any kids you don't want in the wedding in the wedding... that's not a bridezilla thing at all. I don't like kids, I don't want them at my wedding and I certainly don't want them IN my wedding. If the kid feels slighted 15 years down the road because it wasn't in your wedding at 2 months, well, life's tough. But my money is on that they simply won't care.
can a 2 month old even sit up by itself in a wagon?
stick to your guns. Tell her, "We've thought long and hard about it, and we are sticking with our original decision. I respect your opinion, but I don't agree with it, and since this is my wedding, I would appreciate if you would let it go. End of discussion."
Then refuse to engage in any further arguing over it. Just remind her, "I've already explained to you that we've made our decision and it's final. Please be an adult and stop bringing it up/pouting over it/acting so passive agressively/being so darn hormonal." (note the increasing levels of annoyance, hehe, which I guess technically isn't refusing to engage with her, hehe)
Don't let her guilt trip you. I mean, a wagon? Isn't that just going to be very inconvenient? Is your sister thinking logically or with her emmotions. I'd say just take her one side and politely explain your situation. Tell her that you've got NOTHING against your new niece or nephew, just that there are too many little kids in the wedding party already and having a baby that cannot even sit up be part of it and will NOT remember it will make things difficult for everyone.
Also, point out to your sister that she's your Maid of Honour. She's supposed to assist you in your decision making, not insist and force.
I agree that your sister is being redic! A 2 month old does not belong at a wedding, never mind in the wedding party. She should leave the baby home with a babysitter so he or she can sleep and she can enjoy the wedding. Besides a wagon being stupid and unsafe, shouldn't you keep such young babies away from so many people so they don't get sick? The baby will have no memory either way and will only feel like you don't love him or her as much if someone tells them so. I would suggest having a private, rational conversation with your FI, sister and her husband, explaining your logic.
Thank you all so much! I did not get any sleep last night because I started to think I was wrong and being unreasonable. I really, really appreciate your input. To compromise, I told her that the baby could get a matching outfit and be a part of pictures so that it could be involved. I just wasn't so into the idea of having a baby being wheeled down the aisle. It just seems kind of unnecessary. We already have 3 ring bearers! There are only 2 rings!! Haha....maybe I should plant a seed with my fiance that a 3rd ring is necessary. Our wedding will mark our 3rd anniversary after all....JK! :)
I agree with the others, you shouldn't have to include your new neice/nephew in your wedding. 2 months is way to young to be a participant. Like all the other bees said, at 2 months they're not even sitting up, so you'll have to resort to her lying doen in the wagon, which can actually tip over if pulled the wrong way. So with that said, its more harm than good!
This whole two month old baby in a wagon in a wedding party scenario sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. You're sister's totally whacked out on baby hormones. Don't listen to her. You have enough really young kids to wrangle as it is - good luck with that!
I agree with everyone else - a two month old being IN a wedding seems preposterous! Go with your gut, and don't let her guilt you.
I agree with everyone else - its impractical to have her in the wedding. We had 3 flower girls and then a newborn (DH's neice who was 8 months) and while we woudlvve loved to have her in the wedding there was no way. She did wear a very cute dress and was in all the family pics but thats the extent of it.
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Hello ladies...I'm really hoping you can help me.
My fiancee and I have had our wedding party (kids) planned since we got engaged. We were planning on having my nephew (son of the maid of honor) who will be 3, my fiancee's nephew who will be 2.5, and 2 of my fiancee's stepfather's (who just recently passed away) adopted grandchildren (who will be 3 and 6) be the kids in our wedding. (P.S. sorry about all of the parenthesis and details, but I'm trying to give a back story). This is already more children than we wanted, but these people were really important to us and were all at an age that they could walk down the aisle independently.
We struggled with cutting people out (i.e. he has a brand new baby sister who we opted not to have in the wedding because she will be so little), and if we included every child we knew, it would be way insane.
Well...then my sister (the one who's son WILL be a ring bearer) found out she was pregnant. She has just been 'assuming' that we would have the new baby in the wedding (who will only be 2 months old at the wedding). My fiancee and I talked about it and really decided that we didn't want a brand new baby in the wedding (too risky with the crying and everything...). We just figured that that baby could be in my other sister's wedding when the baby could be old enough to actually walk down the aisle.
Well today we were all at a get together for my OTHER sister's birthday party (with all of my family there) and she brought it up. She tried to make me feel really guilty for not having this unborn baby in our wedding. I politely tried to explain that we have a lot of kids and we already had to cut some out so we weren't going to have it in the wedding, but that we were still going to have her son in the wedding (the one who will be 3). She started to get really upset and put this guilt trip on me how my new neice or nephew will think I'm a jerk for not including it, etc. I started to get really defensive and this really upset me. I didn't think that I should have to feel this way. It is OUR wedding, and we politely tried to tell her our stance, and she wouldn't take no for an answer. It's really making me upset and I'm scared that she will keep bringing it up until she gets her way.
Am I wrong? What my gut is telling me is that it is inappropriate to just 'assume' that your child will be in our wedding and that if I said no, she should drop it because it is OUR wedding. I'm just feeling hurt that she is trying to make me feel like I'm being selfish or irrational or something. AHHHH! So frustrating!
I know it's a sticky area....but I really feel like we set the boundaries for our own wedding. I am NOT and do NOT want to be a "bridezilla", and she made me feel like I was being one because she was not getting her way.
Thoughts? What would YOU do?!?!?
(P.S. I apologize for all of the detail and if you are still reading this...THANK YOU!! Any input would be GREATLY appreciated.)