Post # 1
Wedding party drama drama drama. When I think I have everything under control my future mother in law and sister in law who is just a teenager has a big stink about it. Ok here is the issue my fiancee’s sister Ive decided she will be a hostess with my 2 younger cousins ages 16-20 and his sister is the youngest. Well anyway the mother found out about this and called my fiancee and gave it to him, she didnt call me but she called him, and he has nothing to do with my wedding party. The mother told him that his sister wants to be in the wedding but she wants to do something where she is walking down the isle. Now whose wedding is it anyway??? So they have been blowing this entire wedding party up because I decided to make her a hostess. I have 1 maid of honor, 3 bridesmaids, 4 rosebuds(like bridesmaid but wont walk down with anyone) and then I have my hostesses 3 young woman. His sister is young, rude, ungrateful, spoiled brat…yup I said it but thats how she is and no one says anything to her. His mother even told my fiancee he is paying for her dress…and I dont think so. How do I deal with people trying to plan my day? How can I tell them this is what her role is without them talking behind my back and saying things to my fiancee to stress him out?? My wedding is 8 months away and Im suppose to call his mother this weekend and tell her this is what his sister is doing. I honestly dont think its going to go well.
I know some of this doesnt make any sense but Im a stressed out soon-to-be-bride dealing with people who have no respect for my wedding and I dont know how to deal with it right now. I really dont want any tension between my fiancee and I right now.
I also told my fiancee she will be a hostess but Im going to change the name to something else so they wont say anything about it.
Post # 3
Your fiance’ must stand up for you. NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT PISSES FMIL off. Even if he doesn’t agree 100% with your decision, you guys have to come off as a team to the fam. My FH and I did that with our families, even when he doesn’t agree with me, or I with him, he supports my decisions and I support his. If you come off as on different sides of the fence, then his family will eat at that and tear it up. And you guys will be starting your families out on a bad foot.
Post # 4
I’m going to buy a case of tasers for all the drama around here. Your FMIL should have called your FH. I think that was appropriate. The response should be "I’m sorry you feel that way. Let’s go get an ice cream cone." or something non-wedding related.
Give them 2 warnings then tase away. Don’t feed the animals. Don’t engage and give them room to argue with you. There’s nothing to argue over. You and your FH have decided.
Post # 5
"Give them 2 warnings then tase away. Don’t feed the animals."
hilarious! i’m going to print that out and tape it to the wall.
Post # 6
learned it the hard way. I figured out how to deal with it from SuperNanny. When they put the kids to sleep they talk to them the first few times. Then nothing, just put them back into the bed. No arguing just in the bed. The kids figure it out. It works on adults too. I’m going to start using the dog whisperer hints next. psst. I’m the pack leader. Lets go for a walk.
Post # 7
Yes MissRojoOso! You’re not being aggressive, you’re just being dominant! Seriously, babagrlshell is right. She called your FH, she is his mom, he needs to back you up. You can both tell her that the wedding party is already established, but you are sooooo happy that spoiled little sister wants to help, and here are a few things she can choose from (guest book, present table, bathroom attendant, etc). Or, of course, you would be just as happy to have her there as a guest. That’s it, end of discussion. It sounds like FMIL is used to being able to manipulate people – the sooner you make it clear that you don’t play that way, the better things will be all around.