Post # 1
We had a groomsmen drop out of our wedding last night (the wedding is around 100 days away). I’m really not terribly upset, I do feel bad for Fiance though as it was one of his “close friends”. However the reasons he gave for not wanting to be in it were kind of hurtful. Like the fact that it’s not in our hometown, and he would have to travel…that he would rather come and watch but not be commited to doing anything or making any plans…we offered to pay his way and pay for the tux rental, and that’s when we found out it was basically just taking up too much of his time to make it work. After hearing that, now you know why I’m not terribly upset 🙂 I want people who actually want to be there and are happy for us.
This person is engaged and planning a wedding for next summer OR the summer after…he’s already mentioned that my Fiance will be in it…(didn’t ask him to be in it, just said something along the lines of “get ready to stand up for me, this is going to be a blast!”….odd way to bring it up in my opinion…) I asked Fiance how he felt about that and he said he’d do it if he asks, because he doesn’t want to stoop to his level by doing it. Not really sure how I feel about the whole thing. Thoughts?!
Post # 3
I think your attitude of only wanting people there who genuinely want to be there is the thing to focus on, that’s the healthy way to look at it. You can’t change him or his mind, and if you did, you’d probably end up wondering if he was wishing he was elsewhere. Your Fiance should do what he wants when the time comes in regards to being in this guy’s wedding party — just leave the decision to him, it should be his to make.
It does stink that this guy is bailing now, I feel for you and I hope your Fiance isn’t too upset about it.
Post # 4
Thanks for the thoughts, I think he’s more disappointed than upset…:/ Oh well, like you said it’s best to focus on the positives and not get hung up on this!
Post # 5
I also had a bridesmaid drop of out my wedding 4 weeks before. She was so supportive and she was the one who organized my whole bridal shower voluntarily. It really hurt but ultimately she made the best decision for herself and I was really happy with who was standing up with me on the day. She backed out for personal reasons that didn’t have anything to do with me and it sounds like that’s just the way you have to look at it with this groomsmen.
Post # 6
I think his friend sucks! Sorry but that’s pretty sh*tty of him to drop out, and expect you Fiance to be apart of his big day, however I think your Fiance is right by not stooping to his level.