Post # 1
I’m about to cry.
My FI originally had four guys in the wedding party. One started a rumor about me because he doesn’t like me (he admitted this to my FI and also said it was just because he was jealous that I “got all of his time now”), which obviously led to them no longer being friends and also caused problems with two of the other guys in the wedding party, since they believed the rumor and spread it further instead of talking to my FI. Obviously those three guys are no longer in the wedding or our lives.
So the last guy standing just called my FI and said (four weeks prior to the wedding, mind you) that they were throwing his daughters birthday party the day of the wedding and so he wouldn’t be able to get there until right before the wedding.
UM. EXCUSE ME?!?!
So when my FI asked why they couldn’t do it on Sunday (it’s family only… she’s two and doesn’t go to daycare or play with neighborhood kids yet), he said that they have church that day. My FI has been to their church. It lets out at noon.
So his only groomsman is not going to be in any pics, spend buddy time with my FI or help set up… awesome.
Oh and by the way, if you followed my other post here, this is the same guy that offered the bunk honeymoon.
I’m literally about to dissolve from stress and this wedding and people and… all of it!!
Post # 3
🙁 That really, really stinks. I am so sorry that it’s happening, because really there’s no excuse for it! Grown men should NOT act like that. Not okay. *hugs*
Post # 4
Oh my goodness Layla. I am so sorry this stuff is happening.
Just hugs. Nothing but hugs. Does he have brothers or do you who could stand in the wedding?
If no groomsmen or BM, what I’d do is have the bridesmaids walk out and then be seated on the front row after they walk out and have your MOH and your FI’s dad (if he can) be the BM.
Post # 5
Thanks ya’ll. I agree grown men should not act like this. They’re in their late 20’s and early 30’s too… we’re not in high school, ya know?
Belle – that’s a very good suggestion, thank you. His dad would begrudgingly do it, but he doesn’t have any brothers. I’m more sad for him than anything, but I’m also greatly, horrible, incredibly pissed off.
Post # 6
Honestly, if I were your FI, I would say something to this guy (if he hasn’t already) Along the lines of, “You said you were going to be in my wedding as a groomsman. This entails coming to help out, taking pictures, and then being there for the wedding. You’re going to have to have your kid’s birthday on Friday, or after church Sunday. Sorry, but these plans were made first.”
Sometimes I seriously wonder how some people were raised to behave.
Post # 7
AW 🙁 I’m really sorry thats awful. I hate grown adults that still have commitment issues! Grow up!
Post # 8
@hotchild – he basically yelled at him, saying it was unacceptable and that he was the only one he had left and the guy was like, sorry, my wife booked it. Too late now.
Post # 9
what a douche… sorry but that’s alll i can say. i liked belle’s suggestion of them sitting on the front row as well…
Post # 10
Boo! Wow that blows! So Sorry! To think that his only friend left & his wife, won’t budge because of a birthday party…wow…
Post # 11
@Laylabelle: Totally unacceptable. Also unacceptable on his wife’s part. Not to be sexist, but us wives/ladies (should) know the etiquette around this kind of stuff. I would be thinking to myself, “Wow, my husband is in a wedding on Saturday. I should not be throwing my daughter’s birthday on this day because my husband will be busy.”
Some people need to grow a brain…and manners.
Post # 12
Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry! As a bride who had two groomsmen drop out for being overall immature and mean also, and also had a BM drop out a week before the wedding, I can honestly attest to what you’re going through. It was awful and made me sick to my stomach. But after a few days, I realized that it all didn’t matter. As long as the people who really care about you two show up, that’s all you can ask for, right? We started with three and four on each side, and ended up with two each, and it was fine.
Ugh, I’M even TO’d at your wedding party. Gheesh!
I also agree with Bella. Does your FI have some other men in his family that can step in, who already have suits or whatever? Like dad or an uncle? We almost had my FIs dad or my uncle step in, but we decided against it at the last minute because our numbers were even.
Post # 13
Unbelievable! I can’t imagine how frustrated and angry you are. It sucks when friends bail and I can’t believe they would do so at such an important moment. Is there anyone else who could stand up with him?
Post # 14
I agree with having a dad or uncle step in, as much as it sucks, that would at least help make him feel better to have his family pitch in. We were going to have to do this when we thought best man was getting deployed, his deployment was changed, so we are still good, but in the mean time we had his dad lined up to stand in for him.
Post # 15
I am so sorry Layla…that is very disappointing. We’re kind of experiencing the same thing w/ my FI’s guys. Two of them don’t see the need of showing up until a few hours before the wedding…it’s maddening how some people just don’t understand.
Post # 16
I just realized that we had decided to do our rehearsal the day of, while decorating because this particular guy couldn’t get Friday off, and now he won’t even be there for that. I called my FI and said – you need to call him again and ask him to move it to a better date, they know when their daughters birthday is and they committed to this before making plans for that. He needs to do this or GTFO.
My FI says he knows the guy will bow out of the wedding. I feel like pulling every hair in my head out.