Post # 1
I am new to the boards! My FI and I are getting married June 29, 2013 and are going to have it be a destination wedding in June Lake, Ca. (We are from San Diego.)
We are planning only on having siblings, parents and grandparents at the actual wedding weekend in June Lake (about 25 guest) and then having the Celebration of Marriage(reception type) a few weekends later with around 150 guest.
Did anyone else do this, or is planning on doing this?
How do the groomsmen and bridesmaids still get to play an intimate role even though they aren’t in the ceremony? They are very special to us, but understand our budget isn’t huge. We want them to feel like they really have the title and are special to us, even though they aren’t going to be in the ceremony.
Also how would we word invites for a marriage celebration(reception type)? Should we expect gifts and add a registry or would that be weird, being that the ceremony was a few weekends prior?
Post # 3
Oooh. I am having a wedding with only 26 of my closest family followed by a formal dinner. Then, we are having two larger “receptions” in my FH’s and my hometown. I had to cut my bridal party from 5 people to 2 and those 3 are understanding of my situation, but still I think they are a little sad. I’ll be following this post to see what others say and how I can apply it since three of my best friends wont be at the ceremony.
Post # 4
I really don’t think you can have bridesmaids or groomsmen who are not included in the ceremony. Typically, attendants are family members or people you feel are as close to you as family, and by not inviting them to the ceremony, you’re saying they are not as close as family. If only family is invited to the ceremony, you’ll need to have family members as attendants if you have attendants at all.
For invitations for your at-home reception, you would treat it like any other reception. The wording can be as formal or informal as you like. Try Googling “reception invitation” for ideas.
You can never “expect” gifts for any wedding. However, it’s fine to have a registry, so long as you don’t include it on or with the invitations. That way, if people want to give you gifts, they have a way of finding out what you’d like.
Post # 5
First thought-I agree with the above poster. It does not make sense to have bridesmaids and groomsmen that are not in the ceremony, as that is their primary role.
Another thought-Is having your wedding at a destination that is far away of such importance, that you are willing to leave behind your wedding party? If I was one of your bridesmaids, I would definitely feel hurt. To me, this is another reason for you to not have a wedding party at all.
I am currently a MOH and I could not imagine not being a part of my friend’s special day.
Post # 6
We’re considering doing something similar, but we’re not planning on having attendants. If I were you, I’d include the attendants in the ceremony. They should be close enough friends that you can sit down with them and explain your budget situation and tell them if they’d like to attend the ceremony they’ll have to pay their own way. If they can’t, no hard feelings.
Post # 7
Thanks for the thoughts, I am going to discuss after we take a really good gander at our budget and see if I can maybe just bring the few friends I have and <<some?>> of his guys.
Our budget is very small (5k-7k) and we both wanted a small ceremony in a place we reallllllly love, My girls would completely understand, I have talked to them already and mentioned the idea and they are fine with it. ( I have a VERY small group of girlfriends=about 4 bff’s) my FI on the other hand has 9 groomsmen in mind, so his will be a bit harder.
If we can’t afford to have our attendants at the ceremony, I wanted to make them feel special for our reception, instead of saying we just aren’t going to have any attendants. Do something in our reception that makes them feel special to us, and lets them “stand out from the crowd”.
Post # 8
@lovebirds0627: ii was a bridesmaid in a sitch like this. they got married at a city hall though, so there was absolutely no room from extra ppl. i would say if you have a MOH and best man in your party, at least have them at the ceremony. my brother is getting married in the temple with his wife and is having a party months later. they asked me to be a bridesmaid and i will just be sitting with them at the dinner during the party, wearing a special colored dress, and taking some special pictures. i do not expect anything else tho and if your girls/guys understand the deal than they shouldnt either. and i would do a registry! the one i was involved with had the normal registries and they receieved a bunch of gifts…since you are hosting a celebration of your marriage, i think its perfectly acceptable 🙂
Post # 9
Thanks Everyone for the replies and the thoughts, after much debating we have decided to include our bridal party in our ceremony! AND after a little debating (with the in-laws) we are also having our bridal parties spouses and kiddos. So our “small” wedding just turned into 37 adults, and 13 kids!!! (including us) Wish us luck! 🙂