Post # 1
I am having a wedding with 100 guests at a small-medium size venue and small church. I am having a hard time deciding on my wedding party.
For sure my sister, fiance’s sister, and friend (so that’s 3) plus grooms men I have fiances two good friends (2 ppl). However, I have a handful of first cousins I wanted to include playing a role in the wedding of various ages 5-24. Would it be a good idea to have 3 main bridesmaids and 3 main groomsmen at the church alter. Then having four junior bridesmaids, ages 8, 16, 17, 20 & then five junior groomsmen ages 6, 8, 14, 21, 22? That would include ALL my first cousins which I am close to, 7 BMs and 8 Groomsmen
Also this would include 5 of my cousins, all same family!! It may be an expensive request for my aunt and uncle to include all of their 5 kids in the wedding.
let me know what you think and be honest if you think it is overdoing it? I am not sure.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think it’s kinda silly to have a bigger “junior” wedding party than full fleged bridesmaids and groomsmen. Do you have to have all your first cousins in the wedding party?
Post # 4
WOW thats a lot of people to be in your wedding party!!
We had 75 person wedding, I had 3 brides maids and my husband had 1 best man. I agree that it is silly to include all these people. can you incorporate them in another way? My MOHs kids are really special to me, we are like family so her two sons were the escorts and they LOVED it, my husbands nieces passed out the bubbles and rice to the guests along with the programs. Can you find little jobs like that for them to do??
I think its best to keep the wedding party intimate
Post # 5
@Future Mrs K: Yes thats a good idea. To find little things for them to do. Did the children have any special attire you selected, or no?
Post # 6
I think that sounds like a lot, but if it means a lot to you, you could make it work.
Our wedding had 125 guests. 4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen, 2 flower girls and 1 ring bearer.
My 4 bridesmaids had plenty of trouble organizing amongst themselves(rumor/complaint mill says) for the bridal shower and I guess picking shoes and arguing about hairstyle and stuff. So in my opinion, the less cooks in the kitchen, the better!
I love that you are trying to include so many family members. I let my two brothers watch as regular guests, same with my cousins, and no one felt put out. Maybe you could have all the kids do something else to be involved, like hand out programs and direct people to their seats? Or do something at the reception? It just sounds like a lot of people to have go buy matching outfits just so they can walk down the aisle and then move out of the way. Just my personal opinion though. Again, every wedding is different and I’m sure either way can work fine.
My only real advice, don’t ask the extra people until you are sure one way or the other. Because once you ask, you can’t take it back.
Post # 7
If you want them in the wedding party, have them in the wedding party: I would not do the whole junior thing. Make it so that they dont feel obligated to be In the wedding though…let them know you would love for them be play a role but it’s up to them if they want to or not. They way they can decide without feeling pressured or guilted.
I am having 6 bm and 4 gm. I am hopong for 150 guests.
By The Way there are olther ways to include your cousins in the wedding by having them read a Bible verse, or favorite poem or movie/song quote. If anyone is super talented, they could sing or play an instument.
Post # 8
All those ppl make me cringe, lol. Is there other roles they can do?
Post # 9
@julyweddinglovebirds: I had gotten boutonniers for the boys, they LOVED them. Me and their mom, who was my Maid/Matron of Honor discussed it…. they both wore dark khaki pants, white button up shirts, pink and white stripped ties (which matched the bridesmaids dresses) and dark blue sports coats. They looked so good!!! The girls wore what they wanted to, and had matching white capes, it was a bit chill out so they looked cute. You can alwasy get the girls like some type of corsage or something that matches what everybody else has!!
Post # 10
That’s a really big bridal party, but if it’s what you want, go for it! But I would definately consider finding other things for them to do.
Post # 11
Honestly, the larger the bridal party (juniors included), the greater the chance for drama.
Post # 12
I do not think you should have “jr wedding party”
Post # 13
@H216scrf: thanks, you are right “once you ask, you cannot take it back” and I agree with you with everything you said 🙂
Post # 14
@Future Mrs K: thanks for your great tips!
Post # 15
thank you all!!! i think I am sticking to a small bridal party of 3 MB and 2 Groomsmen ….. and giving other cousins a small role to play! 😀
Post # 16
I think it’s sweet that you guys want to include your cousins in your wedding day, but with so many of them and such a wide age range, it doesn’t seem practical or really even necessary, especially since your wedding is relatively small.
The thing you have to remember is that your BMs are supposed to be people who have always “been there” for you, helped you, supported you, and will help with wedding stuff. Not saying they are going to need to be slaves, but they will help you pick out decor, put together centerpieces, invites, throw you a shower, help you with your hair/dress/makeup on the big day. Little ones (and maybe even teenagers) can’t really do that stuff. Not saying they aren’t important, but they may not be able to fill the role of a full fledged Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Making them “junior” BMs (or groomsmen) doesn’t really make sense either, In My Humble Opinion. Would it really be worth them spending money on dresses, tuxes, hair, shoes, makeup, etc to just have a title for the day?
There are probably several other things the cousins can do on the big day. Make the older ones escorts or ushers or have them do a reading or hand out programs. And I’m sure they’d be willing to help you decorate and/or put together last minute favors, etc. the night or week before. This way they can be involved without making it a whole big production.
If I were you, I’d have 3 BMs and 3 groomsmen and just think of creative ways to involve the cousins. It would be less stressful on them, their families, AND you.