Post # 1
I have 3 close friends and FI’s sister I want as the ladies standing with me on my wedding day. I could also have my only other female cousin but that would make our numbers uneven.
FI has one close friend for his Best Man, his brother-in-law and two college roommates as the guys he would like with him.
The issue is I have three brothers.
We live in FL and all of my family lives in PA so we don’t get to see my family too often so FI doesn’t have a close relationship with my brothers.
My mom insists that not having my brothers in the wedding party is going to make me look bad and have all the guests thinking I’m having a falling out with my brothers.
I think to smooth things over we ask my brothers to be ushers and help seat people and direct them to the cocktail hour and reception. And possibly have my older brother do a reading.
What do you think, is it going to be weird if I don’t have my brothers in the wedding party?
Post # 3
Your mom isn’t right here, its up to your groom who he has as groomsmen and has nothing to do with family relationships.
Post # 4
The groom gets to choose who stands up with him. Choosing family just because they are family, espeically when they are your family and not yet his family just leads to drama.
Ushers and readers are a great compromise, but I wouldn’t give them a job that has anything to do with the reception. Let me relax and have fun with everyone else.
Post # 5
@linsical: The groom chooses the groomsmen.
Post # 6
Your mother is mistaken. No one is going to think that there is any falling out with your brothers.
Post # 7
@MsJ2theZ: @Astra: @julies1949: Thank you!! That’s what I kept trying to tell her “I am NOT going to force him to do something he wouldn’t be happy with to make my family happy”.
@Misswhowedding: Thank you, I agree and anything we can do to prevent drama from the beginning is totally worth is! Defintiely and I don’t mean actaully do anything with the reception maybe just help usher people there when it’s time to go over after cocktail hour since they will be in two different locations on the property 🙂